Bad lyrics

[gunrock]

As the title says, a thread for the daftest lyrics commited to record!

To get the ball rolling, Thin Lizzy, Jailbreak:

"Tonight There's Going To Be A Jailbreak,
Somewhere In This Town"

erm, presumably that will be at the jail then...

Maybe the song was originally Jailbait, but the record company made 'em change the lyrics?!

Mine would be Band Aid - Feed The World:
"there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time".

No, Midge/Sir Bob there probably won't except maybe on a few of the world's highest mountains ranges.

[Skull Commander]

[abigsmurf]

"Wait a minute this is too deep (too deep)"

In a Mariah Carey Song of all things.

[EJG1980]

"Wait a minute this is too deep (too deep)"

In a Mariah Carey Song of all things.

Maybe it was a song about learning to become a deep sea diver. The instructor had gone "too deep" and the inexperienced Ms Carey couldn't cope and wanted get back to shallower waters.

Possibly.

[abigsmurf]

Wait a minute this is too deep (too deep)
Much lower and in your blood Nitrogen will seep (will seep)

[merf]

I always found Snap's use of cancer to denote seriousness a tad inappropriate.

Or what about that Des'ree song where she sees a ghost and can't think of anything to rhyme with it so heads off for a bit of toast ?

[abigsmurf]

This is supposed to be from a charity song :

"And the Christmas bells that ring there,
Are the clanging chimes of doom,
Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you."

[Jebus]

Mine would be Band Aid - Feed The World:
"there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time".

No, Midge/Sir Bob there probably won't except maybe on a few of the world's highest mountains ranges.

Add to that "Do they know it's Christmas time at all?"

Again...no, they don't...and they wouldn't care either.

[Widegoat]

Or what about that Des'ree song where she sees a ghost and can't think of anything to rhyme with it so heads off for a bit of toast ?

This.

I don't want to see a ghost,
It's the sight that I fear most,
I'd rather have a piece of toast,
And watch the evening news.

[Space Monkey]

At some low point in the 80's ABC released 'That was Then but This is Now'

"More sacrifices than an aztec priest

Standing here straining at that leash

All fall down

Can?t complain, musn?t grumble

Help yourself to another peace of apple crumble

And consequently:

Hearts of oak are charged and blistered

Russians should be baby-sitted

Americans enlisted"

[Brats]

The line about a girl being a vegetarian 'except when it comes to sex' is even worse.

[Brats]

The Killers have been responsible for some truly awful lyrics recently. The I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier' being particuarly bad because they amde it into a chant (wheich means absolutely nothing).

I like Bill Bailey's version - I've got Ham, but I'm not a Hamster.

[gunrock]

Speaking of the eighties, what about this Level-42 rubbish:

"Cross the mountains to peking
Where the paper laterns gently swing"

"The chinese way
Who knows what they know
The chinese legend grows"

"My eyes wide open
I feel a breeze
Words softly spoken
In cantonese"

Crap lyricism or just full on anti-China propaganda-filled racial slur?

My eyes wide open. I feel a breeze. Bruce Lee has snapped his nunchuks off up my arse....

[abigsmurf]

I can't listen to The Chinese Way without thinking of Crash Man's stage

[Brats]

The reflex is an only child he's waiting in the park
The reflex is in charge of finding treasure in the dark
And watching over lucky clover isn't that bizarre
Every little thing the reflex does
Leaves you answered with a question mark

Quite.