The Relationship Thread-Good, Bad or Indifferent.

[Jaz]

If it's any consolation, I'm 27 and while I've been with a couple of girls in the past, I would struggle to even describe them as 'relationships'. I'm not the kind of guy who is really very interested in 'a bit of fun', I'm quite happy to settle when I meet a girl I really like and have struggled to find other girls around my age with the same kind of attitude. Which is why I'm so happy right now, it feels like all the years of waiting for the right girl (and doubting that she would ever appear) have paid off.

There is one element of Japanese social pressures that does make it a little easier. In Japan, the archaic attitude that girls should be getting married by time they are 25 (30 for guys) is still deeply rooted. The phenomena is described as 'Christmas cake' (the idea that the value goes down after the 25th...). Of course, this social attitude is complete nonsense and I fundamentally disagree with it, but it does make things a little simpler in that girls who are 25 or older do tend to be more committed to the relationship and thinking long term. They also don't want guys who are just after 'a bit of fun'.

We had a nice date last Wednesday. We haven't been able to meet for a while because not only does she live in a different city, but she's been ill with the measles. But we met last Wednesday, watched the new Dragon Ball Z movie in the cinema (how romantic!), stopped off at my new apartment for some 'privacy', before going to an 'exotic' English-style pub for her first ever Fish and Chips.

My wife is from Shanghai and everything you said describes me and her aswell. Asian chicks for the win.

[dvdx2]

I think I need talking down gents.

ATM I feel like Batman potentially going off to battle Bane knowing full well he will have his testicles shattered
and be drinking out of a straw for months to come.

I'm beginning to really like this girl I've known throughout the year. She's so, so nice (always positive and chatty) and just a genuinely good person. We don't share anything in common at all (her sense of humour is ****) but I can't stop thinking about her.

I know this is not a good idea at all as I'm in no decent state atm (out of shape, beard is not at full power, deadlines, out of shape) but I'm kind of thinking 'man, what if she goes off with someone else who sees these same great qualities!?'.

Timing is ****ed. I am still too frail to risk going into battle and getting shot down; it could seriously set me back which is a concern as I have mega problems with depression I don't think I've ever mentioned on here. Basically, as per usual with me, I can gamble and ask her out or carry on thinking 'what if' while still climbing out of this mess I've managed to get myself in.

As I said before. The timing of this couldn't be worse e.g. I'm supposed to be writing a 3000 word essay as I type.

The positive side of me says go for it, whats to loose and the cautious/realistic side says your probably wasting your time. I'd focus on getting better first (your situation sounds very like mine 4 years ago), and that makes it hard to get clarity and focus with small things in life (and reationships are big things requiring alot of commitment). Rejection is very hard to cope with depression.

I remember dating a girl that i had zero in common with. Very nice to look at, but through the visual side of things, dull as dishwater and mean with money. It lasted 3 dates; just as well, as i got fed up buying everything. Conversation used to dry up after 30 mins into the date too; very arkward indeed

[nakamura]

I have a Hello Kitty pillow. It happens when you have kids.

The Japanese marriage scene is retarded. Must be tough to find out the women marrying for social acceptability or for love.

[JazzFunk]

Ah,****,been going great the last two months but I f*cked up last night, haven't boozed for a bit but went out for an afternoon on the piss with the guys and got plastered, was a bit wazzed on the phone to her, fell asleep, now she's ignoring me - in that bastard doghouse again!

I know she'll come round but today is gonna be one of those depressing,ballache type of days, wish I'd not gone out now, dang my propensity for foolish alcohol consumption when part of a pack!

[dazzling_bubble]

I wonder what she would say if you said the same to her?

[JazzFunk]

Erm...bit embarrassing really...she was actually at work and I had that anxious, shaky, paranoiac type of hangover, no banging head, just a major dose of The Fear and lots of imagined misdeeds, all I did was fall over a couple of times, she thought it was funny.

[MisterBubbles]

If you can't go out and get hammered with your mates, i'd tell her to jog on.

[dazzling_bubble]

maybe you're a good match, it sounds as though if you said that to her she'd find it quite funny and endearing

[Kit]

*sweeps to one side*

[randombs]

Relationship levelled up from "my dad will be very difficult because he's traditional and I'm still figuring his angle out. Best we wait for now" to "when you're ready to meet my dad just let me know" this weekend.

Even so, my current situation isn't the best - one year work contract, unsure of what will happen next, bills back home(I was enjoying myself), bills here(?70/month mobile contract I'm stuck in for two years) - but I have to make the most of it. If I were smarter I wouldn't have spent so much money on nonsense and would be in a better financial decision but I'll just deal with all that the best I can.

[sj33]

Funnily enough, I'm actually meeting my girlfriend's parents next week. They've invited me to stay at their place, which is a very good sign indeed. They seem to have no problems with their daughter dating a non-Japanese guy (I have more than a few friends whose girlfriend's parents refuse to even meet them).

I'm more than a little nervous about it, to be honest. I have no reason to be - they seem to be making a real effort to prepare for me visiting, her mother is cooking food, her brother is buying drinks and is looking forward to being able to speak a bit of English, but I want to make a good impression. Trying to make sure I get the etiquette right e.g. bringing a gift etc.

[randombs]

Wicked! Keep us updated

[fishbowlhead]

Funnily enough, I'm actually meeting my girlfriend's parents next week. They've invited me to stay at their place, which is a very good sign indeed. They seem to have no problems with their daughter dating a non-Japanese guy (I have more than a few friends whose girlfriend's parents refuse to even meet them).

I'm more than a little nervous about it, to be honest. I have no reason to be - they seem to be making a real effort to prepare for me visiting, her mother is cooking food, her brother is buying drinks and is looking forward to being able to speak a bit of English, but I want to make a good impression. Trying to make sure I get the etiquette right e.g. bringing a gift etc.

Don't wake up naked in their rec room with only a cowboy hat on. . Good luck fella.

[Kit]

Well, another awesome update. Got shot down not once but twice by the same girl thanks to her friends convincing me to give it another go saying 'she's just shy'.



My mate tried to big me up the next day with this gem:

'women like men with a triangle shape. You don't have a triangle shape.'


I had another great 'get back out there!!' talk with Kat in which she said;

'awww we still think your fab luke and don't care how you look.'


I feel like John Merrick.


****ing hell.

[dazzling_bubble]

which way round is the triangle?!