The Relationship Thread-Good, Bad or Indifferent.

[fishbowlhead]

Nice one Shakey

[kryss]

Behind your back they are planning your downfall..

Listen to this man.

[Lyris]

Well, I've just had a repeat of the same crappy letdown I had a few months ago. With the same girl. I don't know how I manage this.

We were getting all close and I was looking after her after some guy (who it later turns out she screwed... great!) was an ass to her, but I just got the "no" again. Gotta stop doing this to myself. It would be funny, if it wasn't so hideous: girl turns you down, screws a dickhead, then cries to you about what a dickhead the dickhead is.

And the worst part: I take the bait every single time because it's what decent people do. How can you tell an upset friend to piss off under those circumstances?

This is the very definition of friendzone and it is not okay.

[EDDIE M0NS00N]

Just tell her to f*ck off. Its obviously not gonna go anywhere, & she's obviously got a thing for dickheads who treat her like ****e. Leave her to wallow in her own mistakes on her own. Maybe 1 day she'll look back & realise hoe stupid she was to let a tidy bloke like you get away, instead of using you like an agony aunt.
You deserve better than someone like that. If anything did happen between you i guarantee that she'll f*ck you over

[Lyris]

Yeah, it wouldn't be good anyway. She's just addictive I guess. "One more f--k..."

The trouble is, I get stuck on women like this because it's a rare thing that I find one I'm actually interested in. So it often creates a situation of "them or nothing".

[Kit]

Nothing to see.

[Lyris]

The only mark against my day today was being told 'I give off gay vibes'. I will rectify this though by growing a beard and throwing away my chainmail vest.

Oh, my (admittedly crazy) ex decided that I was gay one day. That serves me right for being open about my younger and more open minded days! Apparently you can only get away with that if you're female!

It wasn't funny at all at the time, but in hindsight, I would be surprised if any homosexuals were actually as eager to please as I was. So go figure...

[fishbowlhead]

Yes, it's a trap. A ****ing annoying trap.

It's all or nothing then walk away like a badass like I'm doing - a lonely, lonely badass...

Anyway, have a new place to be over the weekend and some 'chatting' to do tomorrow.

The only mark against my day today was being told 'I give off gay vibes'. I will rectify this though by growing a beard and throwing away my chainmail vest.

Jesus man. Give yourself a break for once. Tell them there all stupid whores who deserve everything they get, and is coming to them. Spit on one to make a point, laugh and walk away.

Ok a bit extreme, but you get my point. Ignor them all, people like that are just attention seekers. There are some great chicks out there that won't mess you about.

[EDDIE M0NS00N]

The only mark against my day today was being told 'I give off gay vibes'. I will rectify this though by growing a beard and throwing away my chainmail vest.

When i was a teenager i had long hair & my mum said i looked gay cos i had hair like a girl. Then yrs later i shaved it all off. She looked at me & said "you look like a gay with AIDS now". Thanks Mam. I love you too!!

[fishbowlhead]

When i was a teenager i had long hair & my mum said i looked gay cos i had hair like a girl. Then yrs later i shaved it all off. She looked at me & said "you look like a gay with AIDS now". Thanks Mam. I love you too!!

Close the thread I think we're done here. What a comment, from your mum of all people too no less.

[MisterBubbles]

Isn't there porn on the net no more? I think i'd rather have a good ham shank and try and entertain all these crazy bitches you try and get with guys. Do yourself and your sanity a favour, bin these bints, for good, Just Say No.

[Lyris]

Had a big talk. I don't feel that much better. In fact, you know what, I feel broken.

The bottom line is that if I don't go out and socialise with more and more people, then of course I won't find someone. But time is so limited, and I'm not 18 any more. There's only so much "socialising" my liver can take.

I just don't understand how people get together so easily and I don't. I must be putting this whole thing on a pedestal which needs knocked down, fast. And it worries me that I don't understand it. Maybe they don't get together easily. Perhaps it's just a jealous "Everyone is having more fun than I am" feeling.

I don't know what it is about me that pushes me towards these slightly crazy women. I like the fun, slightly odd ones, but I guess they're also the ones that have the issues.

I don't know. Being lonely sucks. I really need some reason to believe that that's going to change!

[sj33]

The 'socialising' thing is curious. Obviously it makes perfect sense that if people don't seek opportunities to meet people, they will meet fewer people. Therefore socialising would theoretically be a good place to meet people.

On the other hand, socialising never really brought me personally closer to meeting a potential girlfriend. Other than enjoying going to the pub every now and again, I'm not an especially social person - I don't like clubs, I don't really like going out of the way to meet strangers purely for the purpose of socialising etc. I realised after a while that forcing myself to be social might have resulted in me meeting more people, but it didn't really increase my odds of meeting a like-minded girl with a similar kind of tendencies as me. I was never likely to meet a girl that I'd like in a club, for instance.

Meeting my girlfriend actually happened by accident, on Mixi (a Japanese social networking site) shortly before I moved back to Japan. Good timing, because we were able to meet up shortly afterwards. All the years of forcing myself to socialise in order to meet girls came to nothing, yet out of the blue this develops, ironically at the time we were thousands of miles apart - as antithesis to regular socialisation methods as you can get. And it makes all the years of pain worth it.

[EDDIE M0NS00N]

The only women i met when i used to socialise in pubs/clubs (i assume thats what Lyris means when he mentions his liver) were slags looking for someone to cop off with on a 1 nighter or crazy bitches. All very well & good if you're the 'Splash & dash' type, but not marriage material.

Those places are not a good place to meet people as you're both half cut as it is

[randombs]

I don't like clubs, I don't really like going out of the way to meet strangers purely for the purpose of socialising etc. I realised after a while that forcing myself to be social might have resulted in me meeting more people, but it didn't really increase my odds of meeting a like-minded girl with a similar kind of tendencies as me. I was never likely to meet a girl that I'd like in a club, for instance.

While I wouldn't discount the possibility of meeting a like-minded person at a club who may have also been persuaded to go along but isn't necessarily enjoying it, what you wrote is pretty much the same for me.

Also, I've never just made friends randomly. Everyone I know I met through some mutual interest such as uni or work or are friends of those people. A have friends who can make random new friends in the park or just strike up convos with people at coffee shops. I've never been able to do that. I'm a bit more confident here in Japan but that's most likely due to the language helping to hide my usual shyness under a visage of language inability.

Putting a positive spin on it, it means almost all my friends are proper friends and I don't have any acquaintances or people I can't seem to shake.

Isn't there porn on the net no more?

My laptop has been porn-free for months now!