The Relationship Thread-Good, Bad or Indifferent.

[J0e Musashi]

Pete, now he would go.

[MattyD]

I wish my girlfriend of 6 years would leave me.

no such luck though.

So what's stopping you from doing the deed? I know it's tough but surely you'd be happier - or at least less miserable - if you just cut your losses and left?

I suppose I'm not one to talk after spending Friday night sleeping on a mate's couch and then not going through with it, but she was *ahem* 'eager to make up'. Things seem so much better when you don't feel like you're lugging a sack of medicine balls around

[Crimson Day]

Kernow you sound like you're about to touchdown in infidelityland

Might be time for a "lads weekend" in Amsterdam

Im off there in jan for a friends 18th

[kernow]

I havent got the funds right now, just started a new job and all.

maybe if I start a secret savings fund then one day just walk out never to come back.

but my games! and the arcade cab.. sigh


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mrs._Columbo owned joe, Mrs columbo wasnt murdered by columbo

So what's stopping you from doing the deed? I know it's tough but surely you'd be happier - or at least less miserable - if you just cut your losses and left?

I suppose I'm not one to talk after spending Friday night sleeping on a mate's couch and then not going through with it, but she was *ahem* 'eager to make up'. Things seem so much better when you don't feel like you're lugging a sack of medicine balls around

[J0e Musashi]

owned joe, Mrs columbo wasnt murdered by columbo

Where Shane? It doesn't say he didn't kill her. I don't care about no damn TV studio. I know he did it, prolly how he lost that eye too.

[Tankshell]

Ok time for the next installment, hmmm where to start....

Well got home Friday night 'bowt 7ish and she was already there packing up her remaining stuff; it was all relatively pleasent as before no arguments or anything but I could tell that she was tring to say something/wanted to get something off her chest (figuratively speaking ) all the while she was there...

After about 15 mins I was in the mood for some nosh so went up the local chippy, got back and she was just leaving so told her that we have to hand the keys to the flat back on 6th November (moving out as can't afford rent on my own ya see) so we need to meet up that morning ofr whatever and take them to the letting agent...

Cut to about 11pm later that evening and got the first of many txt messages,

"I don't want the next time i see u to be the last. It won't will it? x"

followed shortly by,

"I wish it was still like this [mms message with photo of us 2 from a year or so ago]"

I didn't reply to either message and then early on Saturday morning,

"Do you want some empty cd cases? Don't know if u need them. Don't want to say goodbye x"

then again at about 11.30 pm that night,

"What u doing? Can't sleep. Am thinking lots x"

followed shortly by,

"Are you awake?"

(I wasn't as it happened!) then

"Please!"

So the following morning I sent her the message,

"What were u thinking last night?"

to which she replied,

"That I dnt wnt to not cu again. Dnt wnt to say goodbye i really miss u x"

then about an hour later,

"That's what i was thinking".

Phew, that's about up to date really. Havn't replied with anything. Not sure what to do....I can see most peoples points about never going back again once a relationship has finished....and that's kinda what I'm thinking at the mo....

...if she really thought she'd made a mistake then why didn't she say so when i saw her in person? Bloody women. Maybe I should do the decen't thing...and just kill her (note - if I ever end up in court charged with murder, that was just a flippent comment and obviously I am not going to purportrate such crimes....or am I??? Mwhahahahahahahahaha.)

[Big Seany]

Ok time for the next installment, hmmm where to start....

Well got home Friday night 'bowt 7ish and she was already there packing up her remaining stuff; it was all relatively pleasent as before no arguments or anything but I could tell that she was tring to say something/wanted to get something off her chest (figuratively speaking ) all the while she was there...

After about 15 mins I was in the mood for some nosh so went up the local chippy, got back and she was just leaving so told her that we have to hand the keys to the flat back on 6th November (moving out as can't afford rent on my own ya see) so we need to meet up that morning ofr whatever and take them to the letting agent...

Cut to about 11pm later that evening and got the first of many txt messages,


followed shortly by,


I didn't reply to either message and then early on Saturday morning,


then again at about 11.30 pm that night,


followed shortly by,


(I wasn't as it happened!) then


So the following morning I sent her the message,


to which she replied,


then about an hour later,


Phew, that's about up to date really. Havn't replied with anything. Not sure what to do....I can see most peoples points about never going back again once a relationship has finished....and that's kinda what I'm thinking at the mo....

...if she really thought she'd made a mistake then why didn't she say so when i saw her in person? Bloody women. Maybe I should do the decen't thing...and just kill her (note - if I ever end up in court charged with murder, that was just a flippent comment and obviously I am not going to purportrate such crimes....or am I??? Mwhahahahahahahahaha.)

You are in there, like!

[Friction]

Gonna stick my neck out here,

Personally just ask her - clearly she had some feeling, and wishes things were different, so why not just confront it!

People say 'Oh you never go back' etc etc, but ultimately it's your life and you who has to be happy with it! I mean missing out on potential happyness because 'Oh you never go back' seems rather silly to me.

Yes she did wrong, you might have to, but life really is to short (Take it from someone who knows more than most - I kid you not) just take the plunge and heck you might end up even happier than before.

In short, Live for the moment, Carpe Diem and all that ****e - Act now not regret it tomorrow!

[EDDIE M0NS00N]

Whoa, hang on there Friction mate.
Lets just recap on what Tankshell has just said:

She came over to pick up her stuff, but didnt mention anything to him while she was there.
Then theres the constant texts. She mentions that she doesnt want them to not see each other again & she misses him, along with including a photo of 'the good old days'.
She never mentions once that she wants to get back with Tank or that she made a mistake.
Theres 1 of 2 things going on here. Either:
a) We could be talking about the fact that she feels bad about what has happened but really does want to stay friends with Tank.
or b) She wants to get back but cant/wont bring herslf to say it.
I'd be careful dude. If u ask her anything just do 1 of the following:
Either text her with the following, or when u see her next just ask "Did u make a mistake & want to get back together?".
Its not u thats to blame for this separation & by asking that question u are making sure she knows how u see it & u get straight to the point. Texting might be easier because we all seem to be more open about our feelings this way. If u tell her outright & to her face she might go a little cold & deny it (when actually she really does want to & making u feel like a twat or upset) or it might get a little too emotional. To me its almost as though she wants u to make the 1st move i.e. say that u love her & want her back. It almost as though she cant bring herslf to say she ****ed up & expects u to take the blame. The problem is if u say that u love her & want her back then she knows how u feel about her & she knows she's still got a hold on u. Women love that, & it may not necessarily mean she wants to get back together. It may just be a test.

Just chill for a bit longer Tank, wait for others on here to give their opinion. Soak it all in, then make a decision.

[Jimmyzilla]

Whoa, hang on there Friction mate.
Lets just recap on what Tankshell has just said:

She came over to pick up her stuff, but didnt mention anything to him while she was there.
Then theres the constant texts. She mentions that she doesnt want them to not see each other again & she misses him, along with including a photo of 'the good old days'.
She never mentions once that she wants to get back with Tank or that she made a mistake.

That's exactly what I thought...

[Friction]

That's actually what I was trying to get at to be honest!

I was saying just ask her outright what's on her mind or going on in her head and take it from there.

I then ranted about not being led by the idea of no second chances and not going back - which in principle is a fine idea but in reality not always a wise choice!

The text messages she has sent could be nothing, but to me they indicate it's not quite a clear cut situation and so you need some answers! Clearly she's mixed up and you need to sort it out!

[D J Kix]

Either text her with the following, or when u see her next just ask "Did u make a mistake & want to get back together?".

Excellent advice which must be taken, or this could go on for weeks/until she's found someone else.

Beware though, that the inevitable "I'm not sure", and "what do you think?" answers will frustrate and confuse. Ignore these & wait for a straight answer. It wasn't your decision to split up, so you shouldn't have to do the work of explaining anything. Besides that, whatever you answer will likely show weakness on your part, and should negotiations fail, you'll fall into a relapse just as painful as when you first split.



EDIT: Quoted wrong post XD

[martingee]

Not wanting to 'piss on your chips' but she seems to be kinda screwing with you, alot of women want to part on good terms and still have you as a 'friend' whereas many men will instantly forget about their last girlfriend like they're dead (a big generalisation and slightly dramatic i know, but i do think there is an element of truth in it).

As others have said she hasn't shown any kind of 'remorse' for the current situation and hasn't really hinted at wanting to get back together just doesn't want to 'not ever see you again.'

If i was you just ask here what she wants, don't ask if she wants to get back together you risk been rejected which will certainly set you back to square one again.

[k0pp0]

I've generally been of the 'cut them dead' after a break up (not literally).. All this 'friends' bollocks never seems to work.

Either way, nice one for playing it cool. Don't continue with the text message ****e, get it out in the open and verbal.

[J0e Musashi]

I'm seeing a "friend" tonight. I've been putting it off for days. I'm dreading it to be honest. We're were originally going out "for a quick drink after work", which turned into "a few". Now we're "going out for bloody marys", all of it her doing. I got a text this morning saying "Is there any way I can tempt you into going to the cinema with me too?". What is it with these creatures? I can see the whole evening getting very messy, because if she says to go back to hers I know I will.

Someone give me a kick tomorrow if I come in here all smiling and **** will ya? Nice one.