The Relationship Thread-Good, Bad or Indifferent.

[EDDIE M0NS00N]

I just found out from my lady that her last ex has moved back down here. When he finished with her he said he wanted to live somewhere more busy & wanted to move to Cyprus but ended up in London, then moved to Bristol.
Now, according to some of my ladies close friends he's moved back to our town & I'm a little worried.
From what she's told me of her previous bf's (I didnt want to know, but why do women do that eh?) she's ended up with 1, then the other, then back with the other 1.
Plus when he finished with her & me & my lady got together he came round to 'visit' on more than 1 occassion, which was really awkward especially when they were joking together about the 'great times' they'd had. And once when I wasnt there he told her he 'misses her nice big tits'.
So the paranoia involving my lady & past incidents is starting to return, but only slightly. I'm just waiting for us to bump in to him in town & for them to start having conversations about the past. I'm worried because when they were together she seemed to have a good time when they went out drinking & because I dont drink I just wonder wether she'd like to go back to having a partner who goes out with her.
The funny thing is he treated her quite badly but she stuck with him for 2 yrs & he's quite a charmer. Maybe nothing will happen, or maybe she enjoys being treated like ****?
Well whatever happens I've made up my mind as to how to deal with it. If she ****s around on me then I'm kicking her into touch.
Nuff said!

[martingee]

The funny thing is he treated her quite badly but she stuck with him for 2 yrs & he's quite a charmer. Maybe nothing will happen, or maybe she enjoys being treated like ****?

If you do happen to run into him and they seem to hit it off then this would be the first thing i would remind her of.

Don't get into a pissing contest though, no one ever really wins, one just gets 'covered in more piss than the other'.

How long ago did they split up, and how long have you been going out with her, surely she's 'moved on'?

[suicidepirate]

Yeah experienced something similar. It's a lose-lose really - if you question her on it she will get annoyed at you and you'll just be creating a self-fulfilling prophecy by continung down that road and harvesting a situation that leads to her actually going off with him or someone else (often this thing is a catalyst and it's not the external individual that's an issue); on the other hand if you say nothing you will end up being super para and self-concious - resulting in the same thing. The ****ed thing is that regardless of which of those two paths you take, you will NOT immediately know if she has ****ed around or not. You might never know. You just have to ask yourself which is worse for you and which would be least painful hypothetically (without assuming anything's actually happened yet) and follow that path with conviction.

So for example, my advice would be, just decide (and hopefully you would have anyway) that you trust your girl and you will not raise the subject with her or let it invade your mind. Then, whatever happens down the line - if you find out in 6 months she wants to "give it another go" with him or decides he's a twat again - it will not affect you as drastically. If it's the former you just up and leave and accept that at least you didn't spend the last 6 months stressing and got some ****ing* and fun in; if the latter then great... you were right.

*If she feels like ****ing less frequently then end it first. No questions.

Hopefully that didn't come across as cynical ?? Seriously man, just go with the flow and do whatever makes you feel comfortable.

[112]

My advice would be to nit over think things, jus let it all take course, if nothing comes of it, then you'll have even more piece of mind. Should the **** really hit the fan, THEN you can launch the beast inside you and destroy everything in yah path. But for now, dont dwell on maybes..... We spend most of our live worrying about the things never really happen.

Look at it this way, you are in the strongest position here. You have the girl, you are getting (some) sex. This guy has nothing, if he tries anything, then you have a right to worry.

I hafta say though, having said all that, a gut feeling is usually right, as i have learned in the past. But, if you focus too much on what could happen you'll make it happen.

Be strong man! Dont let some old flame of hers fux you up in yah head. He dropped his dime, you picked it up. FINDERS FREAKIN KEEPERS! (i hate EX's always gettin in the way!)

112

[MattyD]

If it worries you that much and the situation is as bleak as everyone thinks, why not force her hand? Give her the choice, him or me, and you'll know how much she really values your relationship.

Personally I wouldn't want to be with someone I felt I couldn't trust and depend on entirely - if there was any doubt in my mind I'd keep my distance.

[Dirty Sanchez]

Sounds like someone has some serious self doubt there. You don't trust her or yourself, not a good basis for a relationship.

She sounds either incredibly naive and open about ex's and how to communicate this to the new guy, to the extent she lets the ex come round the gaff and comment on her tits. Fair play that she told you, but again was that naive or was she trying to elicit some response from you.

Either way we need pics of her tits to really make a judegement as to what to do next. :-)

[Yoshimax]

Yeah let's see the tits man they sound great (.)(.)

Doesn't sound good tbh - As far as I can ascertain she has had no comms with him and you've only heard from her friend that he's back.

The thing about him commenting on her tits - He was after a swatch there and I'd have been having a word with him at that point. This is why you don't stay friends with ex's - It's never fair on the next person you get involved with.

Stick with her for now as there's no reason to doubt her - One good thing is you don't drink and it sounds like she does - Any slip-ups on her part and I reckon you'll know it pretty quickly.

If she puts a foot out of step though get her *** kicked out the door.

[MattyD]

Re the tits comment - isn't that like telling a bloke he is a very lucky man, which we all know is man-speak for 'I would definately boff your missus'?

[EDDIE M0NS00N]

Sounds like someone has some serious self doubt there. You don't trust her or yourself, not a good basis for a relationship.

She sounds either incredibly naive and open about ex's and how to communicate this to the new guy, to the extent she lets the ex come round the gaff and comment on her tits. Fair play that she told you, but again was that naive or was she trying to elicit some response from you.

Either way we need pics of her tits to really make a judegement as to what to do next. :-)

Re: The tits.
They are very nice, but I dont think they are that big to be honest. They're just bigger than a handful each & thats all I need!! I dont think that a lady with big tits is something I feel incredibly lucky to have. I can take em or leave on a lady.

I explained here in length a few weeks back about my last gut feeling involving my lady & what I saw, & I still dont know what was going on tbh. I spent so long worrying & getting stressed & pissed off that it finally disappeared & I didnt give a **** anymore. However, just when u think you've left it behind then something like this comes along & brings it all back!!

Her ex said the tits comment on 1 of his visits back from London 1 Xmas. I wasnt there at the time because I was out working so I never got a chance to speak to the wanker. Mind u my lady (& I'm sure other women do this) does say things to me sometimes to see if I will get angry or pissed off or jealous so she could have been playing that game again. Why do women do that FFS!!

The ex thing really pisses me off. We've been together a few yrs now & she still talks about how she did this with ex no.1 & went here with ex no.2, & how ex no.3 managed to do some stupid thing. I REALLY DONT WANT TO KNOW!!
I dont talk about my ex's because they're in the past & I dont want to upset my current lady by talking about stuff that isnt necessary.

I'd been bottling it up for a while & just let her carry on but in the end i just snapped 1 day & told her I'm not interested & I dont want to hear about it.

I'm not saying anything to her about her ex........yet. Theres no need to at the mo, unless I get that gut feeling again. As I said if theres any funny business going on I'm giving her the old heave ho. I'm not being taken for a sucker I can tell u.

Whats the chances of something happening at Xmas again & ****ing up my Xmas AGAIN!!?

[kernow]

I'd still feel offended if someone said they wanted to 'boff' my missus, even if it was a compliment.

I'd be too paranoid of having a beautiful girlfriend anyway

[EDDIE M0NS00N]

Hey kernow hows it going with u & your lady these days?
Still having trouble mate?

BLOODY WOMEN EH!!

[Crimson Day]

I'd be too paranoid of having a beautiful girlfriend anyway

probly comments like that that are giving him trouble with her

[J0e Musashi]

I'd be too paranoid of having a beautiful girlfriend anyway

Shane, you're so gay sometimes.

[112]

Tommy Verceti you obviously aint taking in my advice, so if i was you, id have it out with her and talk to her about whats on yah mind, tell her no more mind games, lay it out there, see what happens. If it goes belly up atleast yah didnt spend a wad on her for xmas, and go to all the mpartys to take advantage of drunken, desperate woman who need sex at xmas time.

112

[112]

Shane, you're so gay sometimes.

Can you guys 'be' any more happier?

112