The Relationship Thread-Good, Bad or Indifferent.

[MrKirov]

Well, I went out to the party last night, and left after an hour. I coulnt drink as I was driving (a good thing, I would have been terrible on drink) Wasnt having any fun at all, and I refused to be "that guy" being miserable and standing on my own at a party. Donna understood and on the way back I went to see my sister.

I had to drive past her house in order to get to my sisters, I noticed that her car was gone soshe must have gone to the party that she was invited to. The thought of her not hurting as much as me, and missing me like I miss her killed me. To think that she was out having a whale of a time made me feel probably the worst I have so far. Obviously I dont know whether she was having a whale of a time or not, but my thoughts couldnt help but go to the worst.

I got to my sisters and bawled my eyes out. Went home, sat on the sofa and fell asleep. I feel so lost. I can now only wait until tomorrow to call and meet up and see what happens from there. Im living off of tea and fags, I havent eaten since 5pm on the day she broke up with me, I tried to eat only a sausage roll last night and nearly puked. Im trying to be strong, I really am.

[MrKirov]

Well, I called her earlier. Wished her a happy new year, and checked that we were stil okay to meet for a chat tomorrow. She said yes. I asked if she wanted me to pick her up and go for adrive, she said she would drive over to mine and see me about 1ish, and that she had some of my things to bring. So I guess we'll see.

I hope that we can talk this through and try to work it out. After some serious reflection and soul searching I think I realise now what alot of the issues are now, and where before I thought everything was perfect, they werent in some respects. Since moving home alone without friends in the house, I had become very introverted, and it seemed that nothing mattered apart from her. After speaking now to friends, they have all said the same thing, and only after this has happened do I realise this.

This is what has likely made her cloustrophobic, and if she had been working thse hours a year ago, and I was still living there and been more social like I was, it wouldnt nearly have has the impact it has now.

I also think ive realised what the straw that broke the camels back was. Ive been arguing with my sister over the past 5 months, havent seen her or my 5 year old nephew. I love that kid and he loves me just as much, and I havent seen him because of our arguing. Due to my pride I refused to budge even for his sake. I was due to go over to my sisters with my mum when she was down, as I had gifts for him and that he was asking to see me in the run up to christmas.

I decided not to go, and to stay with her as it would be our first time alone over christmas. She even said to me that I should go, but I said I wanted to spend it with her. I think this is what pushed her over the edge as such, and made her reevaluate our relationship.

With the benefit of hindsight, I can see this now, and I feel that this could really improve our lives. Hopefully we can talk through this and become stronger at the end of it. I can only hope, and wait and see.

[fishbowlhead]

1. Go eat some food! Does you no good starving yourself as your depriving your body of nutrients, this will make you feel worse anyway, fact.

2. Go see your sister her kid, never let a relationship get in the way of your family, specially a brother or sister, remember they were there before your partner and are still there afterwards.

[MrKirov]

Very true statements.

Infact ive spent pretty much the past few days with my sister and my nephew at her house. I felt rude doing this after arguing for so long, but they really have been there for me. I even ate a sausage sandwich at hers this morning. Made me feel sick to the stomach, but I managed it.

Shes loved me all this time, and I hope that because of that she will be open minded about the status of our relationship when we speak. Tomorrow will be the hardest day of my life. Fact.

Prey for me guys.

[MisterBubbles]

Yes eat now, can easily slip and before you know bam... depression hits you , so MrKirov eat properly , keep fit and keep in regular contact with friends and family.

[topper]

You seem to be jumping to a lot of sudden conclusions at a time when your thoughts are understandably scrambled (I realised this... Tomorrow will be the hardest day of my life...). You're doing rather a lot of "soul searching", and seriously over-dramatizing. If this all goes (more) pear-shaped, are you seriously suggesting that there's nobody else on the planet for you to bond with? You're also far too concerned with what she feels, what she thinks, what she does etc.

Danger, danger.

I'm not being unsympathetic by any means, quite the opposite. But lots of us have been in and out of this situation, no matter how much you think yours is different, we all think that at the time. Maybe that increases our understanding. You really need to start putting yourself *first*. Trying to please others first is a losing game.

I'm done here as I said ^^, people don't really take advice, they just learn for themselves.

Good luck, you'll gradually find your own strength inside, just by every little good thing you do, every little success you have.

[Jebus]

Danger, danger.

I'm not being unsympathetic by any means, quite the opposite. Maybe that increases our understanding of the situation. But you really need to start putting yourself *first*. Trying to please others first is a losing game.

I agree...

True love is something that you shouldn't need to work at, you shouldn't need to change, to try and please someone.

You shouldn't bend over backwards to please someone in a relationship. I'm not saying you should be a total arse, but spend too much time pleasing someone else and you'll end up ill, and not happy, like you thought you would.

[Welrain]

I need an update.

[Dirty Sanchez]

Tomorrow will be the hardest day of my life. Fact.

Prey for me guys.

I've been through a marriage and divorce with a child. I never thought I'd top that for a hard time.

Lost my younger brother 3 weeks ago, supporting my mum and dad through that has been way worse than my divorce years, with those I still cam eout with my son.

Not being over blunt but get a grip son, she's left you and 99% isn't coming back. There are plenty of others out there, be the man and wish her well in her new life and start moving on.

[kernow]

He has a point, I mean there are people starving and dying in the world, and asking for people to pray for you (lol religion) because you've lost your bird is a bit .. well..

Indulge in the joys of onanism!

[merf]

he didn't ask us to talk to a god for him, he actually requested we go out and take advantage of somebody else or kill an animal.

these self indulgent my bird left me threads get right on my wick too, I'm with Dirty Sanchez, man up and get on with it.

[NW2013]

Good advice there fellas, I'm certainly trying to take that sort of attitude in my own life nowadays.

[kernow]

I shall send a trained sparrowhawk out in that case for his blood.

edit: I just googled sparrowhawk and they look pretty mean, I honestly think they could do the job.

Or a falcon, falcon is a pretty cool word, for a pretty cool bird.

[NW2013]

Are the forums still playing up a bit? When I posted before it was page 46 now it's on 47, same with merf's post.

[kernow]

no idea, I'm on page 10 because I changed the options to a sensible default instead of 0.33 posts per page and every thread ending up having 700,000 pages.

cough