The Banter Thread / Banter Topic / Sean Bean

[Soi]

Yeah, what are you talking about?

[dataDave]

Probably not what I'm thinking of.

[J0e Musashi]

It's a magazine that produces lots of reading material. Like 200 cuts or so as opposed to a low-yield, which is like 15 cuts. 330 cuts is the daily target, so as you can imagine the n00b has now read two high-yields, giving him somewhere in the 400+ region by 1pm. Anything over 330 is paid at double time, so he's doing extremely well for today. I'm only currently at 250-odd, when usually by 12 I'm on about 800. Thursday is the hardest day in terms of hitting figures so I'm not best pleased. Although in saying that as I'm black ops my figures are always doubled, so I'm actually on 500 cuts for today.

I'm a press analyst at the FT by the way if you are confused.

[Soi]

Yeah, go black ops on him. Double your cuts. That's what I'd do.

Or something...

[Big Seany]

That job sounds so boring, it would kill me doing something like that. No wonder these big city Laahndon types do loads of coke and kill each other.

[kernow]

heh, too right

[dataDave]

Yeah, lol. I sit at a cpu doing web design all day (2% actual design, 98% data-entry) and have done for ten years solid. No wonder I'm ****ed.

I can go 72 hrs now without food (and hardly any water). I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

[J0e Musashi]

Analysing press is an extremely interesting job. It's very hard work and sometimes I'm in the office for over 10 hours a day, but I enjoy it hugely, and it comes with huge benefits. I've given up coke too, as I killed someone.

[MattyD]

I've given up coke too, as I killed someone.

Care to elaborate?

PS what exactly do you 'analyse' about the magazines you read? I thought you were a proof reader by what you said before...

[SuperDanX]

Sounds great. Giz a job. I can read, sort of.

[J0e Musashi]

Care to elaborate?

PS what exactly do you 'analyse' about the magazines you read? I thought you were a proof reader by what you said before...

Indeed. Nice T-shirt mask btw.

I don't know where to start really, it's quite difficult to explain my job. I can proof read, and that is how I got into this job originally, but I haven't done that for a long while. I guess I inform companies of how they are being portrayed in the media. That seems the easiest way I can explain it so that others can understand without it going straight over their heads. The next time something particularly interesting arises I shall post so that you can get a better idea of what I do.

[VR46]

heh, I've done proof reading in a previous job, killed me after a couple of hours.

Anyway, made me chuckle ..

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the
stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights
go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow
passenger. "The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it
slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know", said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK". she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask
you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the
same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out
a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you
suppose that is?"

The stranger thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." to
which the little girl replies,

"Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't
know ****?"

An Australian guy is travelling around the Greek Islands. He walks into a bar
and, by chance, is served by an Australian barmaid. As she takes his order, a
Foster's, she notices his accent. Over the course of the evening they get
chatting. At the end of her shift he asks if she wants to come back to his
place.

Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay her $200 to
sleep with him.

As she is travelling around the world, and is short of funds, she agrees.
The next night the guy turns up again. Again he orders Fosters and after showing
her plenty of attention, asks if she will sleep with him again for $200. She
remembers the night before and is only too happy to agree.

This goes on for 5 nights. On the 6th night the guy comes in again, orders
Fosters but goes and sits in the corner. The barmaid thinks that if she pays him
more attention then, maybe she can shake some more cash out of him. So she goes
over and sits next to him.

She asks him where he's from in Australia.

"Melbourne", he tells her.

"So am I. What suburb?" she enquires.

"Glen Iris" he replies.

"That's amazing," she says excitedly, "so am I - what street?"
"Cameo Street" he replies.

"This is unbelievable........." she says, her voice quavering; "What number?"
"Number 20", he replies.

She is totally astonished.
"You are NOT going to believe this," she screams, "but I'm fr om number 22! My
parents still live there!"

"I know..." he says, "Your Dad gave me $1,000 to give to you"

HE WHO
DRINKS AUSTRALIAN, THINKS AUSTRALIAN

[MattyD]

Joe, I meant the killing part. Videogames have rotted my brain to the point where MURDER DEATH KILL are the only things capable of lifting the jaded eye-brow of my interest!

[kernow]

*buzz* now go take that ticket out of the machine

whats this 3 shells business?

[112]

LOL! you dont even know the 3 sea shells........... lol......... please............ everyone knows about the 3 sea shells!

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