Darksiders (PS3/360)

[Hazuki]

If there's anybody at all reading, who's thinking about picking this up..............DO. NOT. DO. IT.

Its a total piece of ****. I've just played through nearly 3hrs straight of tremendously average gameplay in the hopes of finishing it, so i can move on to better games. I walked onto a lift, set it in motion, and as it ascended, the character fell through the floor, the game auto saving on his plummet, meaning i can now no longer progress, as the lift is stuck at the top of the shaft, and the button to start it is on the actual lift itself. Utter, utter ****. 3hrs i could have spent playing something decent totally wasted.

[PeteJ]

I don't think it's that bad, though bugs like that really do suck. A bit like watching a covers band, there's nothing original about it and I wish I was seeing the original acts play, but while I'm there I'll enjoy myself.

Just got the horsey.

[Hazuki]

Wow, that's weird, i came up with the exact same covers band analogy myself, early on in the game! Sadly, the more it goes on, you start to realise, its not fit to be mentioned in the same sentence as the games its compared to. Its only superficially like those games. There are none of the good bits. The game is totally linear and essentially consists of - Enter room, generic fight, corridor. Enter room, "my first puzzle", corridor. Enter room, generic fight etc. Repeat that over till you get to the most jaw droppingly cliched, boss you've ever witnessed. The kind of creation that was all the rage, in third rate Public Domain Amiga games from the early 90's. Top stuff.

Then you get to traverse a poorly designed, empty and totally unremarkable overworld, that has nothing at all to do in it.............apart from go to the next dungeon! Hurrah!
Note - by traverse overworld i mean - Enter area, generic fight, corridor. Enter area, "my first puzzle", corridor etc. When you do finally get to the next dungeon though - Enter room, generic fight, corridor. Enter room........etc. But here's the really good bit, its a bit like an ice world. Amazing!

Interestingly you're just about to get to the point where i realised the game is not like Zelda, Devil May Cry, Bayonetta etc all mixed together. Its more like..........well, totally forgettable horse****. If this game was a covers band, it'd be the ****test covers band, doing really **** covers, of the ****test bands ****test songs.............EVER! Of course they'd all fall through the floor as they were playing. Ace!

Just make sure you save often.

[toythatkills]

I enjoyed it, as did thousands of others, including many on this forum.

It sounds more like you're angry at losing progress due to a bug and you're taking it out on the game, your dislike is a bit too vehement.

It's a rubbish bug and I'm sorry for you, but I didn't experience any bugs at all playing this and enjoyed pretty much every minute, to the point that I played through twice.

[Hazuki]

My God man, you played through this twice? TWICE!? Are you fully mental!!!!????

Best bit for me was the bloke who kept saying "one more beam" in a stage actoooors voice EVERY FIVE SECONDS, when you were in the room with him. Classic stuff. Or how War sounds dangerously constipated, seemingly becoming more impacted with every cut-scene. The voice acting couldn't have been anymore hammed up, unless Patrick Stewart had exploded onto the scene as God Almighty, and unleashed one of his classic Castlevania diatribes. Or, how the story is non-existant (something that's supposed to push the game on), yet the developers appear to think its some kind of epic tale of the ages, despite being voiced by a group of people with all the theatrical acting ability of the 90's cast of the Bill. Samael is so that bloke with the burns and proper mega 'tache. "Tosh" innit.

I respect other people's opinions. If you like it, great. I, on the other hand, have taste.

[kingmobster]

I love Bayonetta, DMC & Zelda and think that Vigil have put together a pretty good tribute album.

[rmoxon]

I think the fact that all the people who rated it on here gave it an average of 8/10 speaks for itself. As I think we generaly know what we are on about on here with regards to games really.

Also...

My God man, you played through this twice? TWICE!? Are you fully mental!!!!????

Best bit for me was the bloke who kept saying "one more beam" in a stage actoooors voice EVERY FIVE SECONDS, when you were in the room with him. Classic stuff. Or how War sounds dangerously constipated, seemingly becoming more impacted with every cut-scene. The voice acting couldn't have been anymore hammed up, unless Patrick Stewart had exploded onto the scene as God Almighty, and unleashed one of his classic Castlevania diatribes. Or, how the story is non-existant (something that's supposed to push the game on), yet the developers appear to think its some kind of epic tale of the ages, despite being voiced by a group of people with all the theatrical acting ability of the 90's cast of the Bill. Samael is so that bloke with the burns and proper mega 'tache. "Tosh" innit.

I respect other people's opinions. If you like it, great. I, on the other hand, have taste.

Hazuki, a week ago I'm pretty sure you were talking about how you adored this game and you didnt think that the 3d zelda remake on the 3DS could even come close at all.

Now youre saying you hate this and are telling people to avoid it..

Now I have to ask... Do you have two personalities?

Your posts are even more perplexing becuase of the fact that the general opinion on this game, across the net, wherever you look, not just here, state that the game gets better as it goes on.

Now I know you say you have "taste" and maybe no one else on the planet does... but I still have to wonder if you have been smoking somthing recently?

[Hazuki]

Anybody who thinks this is anywhere near Bayonetta, DMC, or anything at all like Zelda are clearly on the crack pipe.

Rmoxon - i thought Darksiders was quite entertaining when playing through the first "dungeon". I assumed the game would begin properly when it was over. It didn't. I never said that it was better than Zelda. That would be a laughable comment to make. I wasn't sure whether i'd enjoy a 13 year old game i'd finished twice before, as much as a title that was supposed to be "just like Zelda" that i picked up for ?10. Comments that it gets "better and better", and "dungeons that are as good as anything in the Zelda games" made me think i was in for a real treat. That latter comment was yours by the way. You must have been hitting the smack pretty hard when you made it.

This game is NOTHING. LIKE. ZELDA. It IS like a PS2 era Devil May Cry wannabe. It'd probably be DMC2 at that. Mix that with a really generic PC title, and Bob's ya Uncle - Darksiders.

Looking at the design of the "dungeons", they appear to have been shat out by a class of Primary School children........on their dinner break. They're totally linear and focused almost entirely on arena combat, with the odd "my first block pushing puzzle" thrown in. They can be summed up with the phrase "mediocre PSone realease". They are the very definition of average. They are NOTHING. LIKE. ZELDA.

Outside of the "dungeons", is the "overworld". What is the point of it? Its tacky and bland, there's nothing to see, nothing to do, it's pointless outside of having you trudge 15mins across it to reach the next "dungeon". Shockingly poor design.

The combat is clearly the best attribute of the game. However, you don't need to upgrade any skills, buy any items or new equipment to get through. Just mash x and you'll be fine. Again, shockingly poor design. The combat quickly becomes a chore too. It can't hold a candle to the games it rips off.

I get the feeling Vigil walked around E3 with a notebook, jotting down all the ideas from other games that they could pinch, as they've got no real talent of their own. Jesus, there's even a Mario Galaxy bit. Of course, its clunky **** when done by Vigil though. Take away all the games that Darksiders apes, and you'd be left with nothing, apart from the generic PC game, that it so clearly is.

[toythatkills]

There's so much wrong with that post I barely even know where to begin.

It is Zelda-like, you can't argue with that. If you don't think it's as good then fine, but that doesn't stop it being what it is. Just because Blue Dragon is a **** RPG, that doesn't mean it's not an RPG at all. In Darksiders you go from dungeon to dungeon, the dungeons are full of puzzles and you go through to find items which you'll eventually use to kill the boss of that dungeon. How is that anything less than what Zelda does? Maybe it doesn't do it as well, that's not relevant.

They can be summed up with the phrase "mediocre PSone realease".

That doesn't even make sense. The only thing you can sum up with that phrase is a PSone game that's mediocre.

I seem to recall there being plenty to do in the overworld. Chests to hunt for, enemies to fight, environmental puzzles, etc. I'd love to know why you hate it so much when, presumably, you love the overworld in Ocarina of Time. I seem to recall that being, for the most part, a giant green expanse of nothing, which you just trudged across to reach the next dungeon. There's obviously so much more to it than that but if you're happy to refer to Darksiders in that manner, then at least be consistent.

You're simply wrong about the combat, there's far more to it than "just mash x" and even on the normal difficulty you'll lose plenty of fights by playing that way. I can't remember if there was an easy option but if you were playing it on that then your opinion on the combat isn't at all valid.

I can't be bothered to continue, because I know you're just going to ignore all the points I've made anyway to continue your tirade.

[rmoxon]

Anybody who thinks this is anywhere near Bayonetta, DMC, or anything at all like Zelda are clearly on the crack pipe.

Rmoxon - i thought Darksiders was quite entertaining when playing through the first "dungeon". I assumed the game would begin properly when it was over. It didn't. I never said that it was better than Zelda. That would be a laughable comment to make. I wasn't sure whether i'd enjoy a 13 year old game i'd finished twice before, as much as a title that was supposed to be "just like Zelda" that i picked up for ?10. Comments that it gets "better and better", and "dungeons that are as good as anything in the Zelda games" made me think i was in for a real treat. That latter comment was yours by the way. You must have been hitting the smack pretty hard when you made it.

This game is NOTHING. LIKE. ZELDA. It IS like a PS2 era Devil May Cry wannabe. It'd probably be DMC2 at that. Mix that with a really generic PC title, and Bob's ya Uncle - Darksiders.

Looking at the design of the "dungeons", they appear to have been shat out by a class of Primary School children........on their dinner break. They're totally linear and focused almost entirely on arena combat, with the odd "my first block pushing puzzle" thrown in. They can be summed up with the phrase "mediocre PSone realease". They are the very definition of average. They are NOTHING. LIKE. ZELDA.

Outside of the "dungeons", is the "overworld". What is the point of it? Its tacky and bland, there's nothing to see, nothing to do, it's pointless outside of having you trudge 15mins across it to reach the next "dungeon". Shockingly poor design.

The combat is clearly the best attribute of the game. However, you don't need to upgrade any skills, buy any items or new equipment to get through. Just mash x and you'll be fine. Again, shockingly poor design. The combat quickly becomes a chore too. It can't hold a candle to the games it rips off.

I get the feeling Vigil walked around E3 with a notebook, jotting down all the ideas from other games that they could pinch, as they've got no real talent of their own. Jesus, there's even a Mario Galaxy bit. Of course, its clunky **** when done by Vigil though. Take away all the games that Darksiders apes, and you'd be left with nothing, apart from the generic PC game, that it so clearly is.

But, umm, you originaly said it WAS like Zelda, Now youre saying its nothing like Zelda.

In fact I think ToythatKills is right, youre a lost caused, you dont seem to know what youre saying really. A Generic PC game? wasn't the PC version released about a year after the console one? Plus its very much a console game anyway, there are very few games like Darksiders on the PC.

Anyway ive played every single Zelda game several times, and Ive also played this game twice, and for me its up there with the best in the Zelda series.

I'm not sure what this game did to you for you to turn on it so sharply, but I'm just glad that it didnt have the same effect on me, becuase the rage in your typing is making me fear for your friends and families life to be honest....

I can just imaging you strangling them while screaming "ITS NOT ZEEEELLLLLLDDDDAA!!!"

[Hazuki]

Not at all, i'm not some dick who's laying into the game for fun. I'll take your points on board and reply.

The game is nothing like Zelda. Darksiders "dungeons" have got more in common with a level of DMC or even something like Dead Space in terms of design eg, walk down corridor, enter room, fight off enemies, occasionally solve simple block pushing puzzle, repeat previous. Its very linear. You could be playing anyone of a thousand games. There's no clever design or lay-out. Its very generic videogame 101. Its designed and plays like a mediocre PSone release.

Zelda's dungeons are incredibly well designed, multi-layered affairs, in terms of both puzzle solving and ingenious lay-out. They are inventive. They are like a puzzle within a puzzle. Not only using the environment, but also the tools you are given to explore them in non-linear fashion. There are chests in Darksiders, yes. There are bosses in it. Yes. Just like a million other games then. Are they all just like Zelda too? Maybe you can't see past the superficial stuff. Maybe you could explain to me how Darksiders is like Zelda in particular?

I'm amazed that anybody could try and claim Darksiders "overworld" is anything like Zelda. There is nothing to see, nothing to do. No interesting quests, no brilliant puzzles to solve, no characters to interact with, no clever multi layered design to it, no living breathing world to explore, no sense of being in an actual place. The list goes on. Its generic bollocks. If you honestly believe what you are coming out with, then i'm afraid there's no helping you.

The core gameplay of Darksiders is far more like DMC, as are the characters and "story". The main chunk of the game is the combat. Its similar to DMC, Bayonetta, Ninja Gaiden, it even has the same moves ripped off from those games. I played it on the hardest setting. I just mashed x the whole time. No skill involved. Even OOT, a 13 year old game, required you to tackle different enemies in a different way. Then again that game was designed by a team of the greatest videogame minds ever. Darksiders seems to have been put together by a bunch of fly by night cowboys. They probably tarmac drives in their spare time.

[kingmobster]

I think the fact that all the people who rated it on here gave it an average of 8/10 speaks for itself.

This. We're all on crack.

[Hazuki]

Herd mentality. Lovely. Just to balance that out, both Edge and Games scored Darksiders 5 maybe 6 out of 10. The general points being its very generic and average. Probably should have took that into consideration before buying. Sums the game up pretty well.

[toythatkills]

It is generic, it might even be average, but it's also very enjoyable.

At least to many people.

[Hazuki]

There you go then. You've said it yourself, its generic and average. I suppose how much enjoyment you get out of it is down to whether you enjoy playing generic, average games. As i've already stated, i've got taste.

I don't usually buy, or play through, games that are this bad. I've been playing this, when i could have been playing Child of Eden, or going through Ninja Gaiden or Bayonetta again. Mastermind syndrome innit. I've started so i'll finish. OOT 3D is the game that's made me realise "wtf am i doing playing this"? That and the falling through the floor game breaking bug. Top stuff.

There have been bits that are ok, the combat is fun enough, the voice acting and 6th form writing has made me laugh. So i suppose i've had my ?10 worth. I think what people have missed is that i'm not ranting at this game. I'm just taking the piss out of it a bit. Some folk need to lighten up. I'm pretty sure it'll be one of those titles i look back on and have a bit of a laugh about, like Shadowman, or UEFA Strike, starring Ron "Bojangles" Atkinson on the Dreamcast. Now that was a quality game.