The Relationship Thread-Good, Bad or Indifferent.

[Baseley09]

My mates and work even have been great to be fair, this is the first time ive had someone leave me from my longest relationship and it has been devastating but i guess it happens to nearly everyone. Its so cliched, how can anything to do with woman not be, but i find myself sitting on "our" unwrapped sofa staring at the tv without it even being on, ive lost interest in nearly everything i feel like even my laserdisc player could get sold and i wouldnt care.

[MattyD]

So Baseley, sorry if I'm getting the wrong end of the stick here but she's moving in with the father of her boys again? If so that's well harsh and probably not just for you if she didn't want to be with him before. As much as you have to respect a woman for looking after her kids that's got to be devestating when you're the one getting left to one side.

[VR46]

Condolences, not much else I can say

However, trying to imagine Sean's face after The Saints get relegated at the weekend might help you to smile again.

MattyD: sure he means she is moving in with her own father

[Baseley09]

So Baseley, sorry if I'm getting the wrong end of the stick here but she's moving in with the father of her boys again? If so that's well harsh and probably not just for you if she didn't want to be with him before. As much as you have to respect a woman for looking after her kids that's got to be devestating when you're the one getting left to one side.

Nah sorry i didnt make that too clear, shes moving in with her dad who lives just outside bognor. If she had moved back with her former husband i wouldve probably puked its one of your worst fears if they have history and connections through children.

[Nembot]

Maybe you need to go through motions of being a wreck for a couple of days until you begin to come to terms with things, but try and keep busy, not nesessarily with work, but stuff that fun or that you can focus on.

When my last longterm relationship ended I was well prepared through past experiences to deal with it, but prior to that the one before I was devestated. I joined a gym and that gave me some focus and I had a good network of friends around me for the times I couldn`t be at the gym.

Stay busy and try and get out and about with your friends, I know it`s hard but the more you dwell on the situation the more difficult it is to climb out of the hole.

Not long after my bad experience I went for an inpromptu drink in Manchester with a mate and I met someone else. You never know what`s round the corner fella. There will be more happy days ahead for you.

[MattyD]

Ah I see. Would you not be willing to move down to Bognor with her then? I'm guessing you must have discussed this and decided against for some reason.

[Baseley09]

Ah I see. Would you not be willing to move down to Bognor with her then? I'm guessing you must have discussed this and decided against for some reason.

Funny this was/is an issue. Some time ago when she was sobbing about her kids (she constantly felt guilty about the situation, she was the one to leave her husband etc, feels she shouldve taken the kids with her) i had said that moving to bognor wasnt something i could do, at this age anyway as i didnt want to be away from my friends & family. It wasnt as bad for her being in portsmouth as she works here on the outskirts and has friends here. I was prepared to move closer to bognor, i probably would have but we both decided I wouldve resented it, the way she apparently became about being in portsmouth.

I suggested she moved back with her dad part time when she was ditching me as a sad atempt to get her to stay but she said it would be too hard, i even said id move to bognor but realistically i wouldve hated it.

[kernow]

Jeez Base, I didn't realise she was pre married with two kids. Thats a lot of baggage and inevitably she'd choose her kids. It was obviously painful for her too. Bah this sucks.

[SuperDanX]

Sorry to hear that base, it is gutting i know, does get better, all you guys here really helped me out the last time it happend to me so id recommend listening to there words of wisdom, id offer you some advice but Nembot just about nailed it advice wise. Good luck mate.

[NW2013]

That sucks big time dude. I'm hopeless at getting over women. I got dumped back in August by a girl I'd only been seeing a couple of months and I was still upset about it until very recently.

The mistake I've made was staying in more to avoid seeing her and dwelling on the situation. It's best to get out and about to take your mind off it.

[Keith]

They're not worth it anyway dude. Chin up.

[MarioMark]

Maybe you need to go through motions of being a wreck for a couple of days until you begin to come to terms with things, but try and keep busy, not nesessarily with work, but stuff that fun or that you can focus on.

When my last longterm relationship ended I was well prepared through past experiences to deal with it, but prior to that the one before I was devestated. I joined a gym and that gave me some focus and I had a good network of friends around me for the times I couldn`t be at the gym.

Stay busy and try and get out and about with your friends, I know it`s hard but the more you dwell on the situation the more difficult it is to climb out of the hole.

Yeah this is good advice. I'm going through a bit of a rough patch in my life at the moment which I won't get into. But I've been trying to stay active and go out with mates. Maybe give yourself a little target each day to get yourself through the day, it can be anything. You do find out who your real mates are in these times too.

[Baseley09]

Cheers for the words dudes, I actually feel a little bit better today at least the sobbing has stopped, im still ruined tho. Hoorah!

[Keith]

You're not ruined mate, you're way better off. You just can't see it yet.

[prinnysquad]

Hey baseley - your posts often give me the lols so I hope you feel better soon!