The Relationship Thread-Good, Bad or Indifferent.

[Richard.John]

I am in a pickle right now as I am married but have fallen in love with another woman. Not a nice situation to be in I can tell ya. It's a case of safe and comfortable but miserable vs happy, but my world is going to implode around my ears and I am too much of a coward to face the fall out.

[EDDIE M0NS00N]

Are there any kids involved in your marriage?
If there's kids involved then its a bit more complicated.
If not then how long have u been miserable & is it a case of u not talking about stuff together i.e. communicating? This might clear the air u see & things might improve. If there's no hope then although I'm no expert, there's no point in being miserable for the rest of your life. It's best u move on. You're only gonna look back & see what a waste it was, when u & your wife could've parted & been happier with other people.

It's best to be honest mate & good luck with whatever u decide!

[DeathAdder]

as long as she doesn't go after half your games collection.

that's why i married a non-gamer

[Ady]

That's some heavy ****.

Personally, I thnk you should really think about why it is you married your current, and evaluate whether the feelings you have for this other woman are really love or just lust.

[Dogg Thang]

While I'm reluctant to throw myself into this, I think Ady's last bit is extremely relevant. Being married doesn't mean everything else gets switched off. You're still attracted to women. Some will get under your skin. You can develop crushed and even infatuation. That's not even slightly unusual. But, when you're in that, it's very hard to pull apart whether it's a crush or actually 'falling in love'.

You say 'safe and comfortable but miserable' when referring to your marriage. The 'comfortable' part of that doesn't match 'miserable'. So, is it miserable with regards to your desire for someone else? If you took that out, would you still be miserable?

[Richard.John]

Yes, that's the question love or lust. One thing I do know is that I am unhappy in my current situation. Maybe I am trying to force it out into the open as it's a pretty dangerous game I am playing right now.

[kernow]

meh sod it, why get married anyway, escape!

[RuBiQ]

love is a killer eh richard

you have to make yourself happy first in order for you to make others happy around you, your only on this planet once and to live in misery not being happy isnt the right way to spend your life, i think a lot of us are guilty of being in relationships as they are scared they might end up on there own or wont find someone else to love and spend there life with, ive been guilty of this in the past but in hindsight youll only be happy when you decide whats best for you.

Im engaged and hoping this is the one now, doesnt stop me checking out other chicks of course but thats as far as it goes.

[[nothing]]

Meh. You should all feel lucky you can get yourselves into relationship based mishaps in the first place. I can't even attract insects.

[kernow]

bathe less! attract flies

[Baseley09]

This just happened to me and i feel terrible. We had just moved into a new flat (about a week in!) comes back after a weekend trip and leaves me.

She has 2 boys who live with their dad in bognor regis who shes sees at weekends and one night during the week (we're in portsmouth), she felt guilty about being away from them for so long but after this trip away, with her eldest boy, he said he hates coming to portsmouth and wishes she was closer to them....this pushed her iver the edge and decided its best she leave me and move in with her dad closer to bognor.

Wierdest thing about this "break up" ws that she didnt leave the night it all went down, she stayed and we just held each other sobbing in bed till she went the next morning, personally while i was completely devestated, she was crying too but i dont think it was having quite the same impact, afterall it was her decsision to do the right thing by her kids.

I cant stand being in the new flat now on my own, all her stuff has gone infact the day she left we had our sofa delivered but im just gonna have to send it back, and get out of the flat as i cant afford it on my own. Luckily my mum owns the flat so i have some leway, but if it wasnt id be ruined, even more so than i am.

The ****ter for me apart from financial collapse was that it seems all too drastic, we'd been together over a year, living together maybe 8 months, if she loves me still like she says then why cut all ties to completely leave me just seems mad but thats her plan afaik.

[kernow]

Be strong Base, I can't offer any other help I'm afraid.

[[nothing]]

Happened to me too (sort of).

About 7 years ago, I left my job, sold loads of my stuff to move over 250 miles to London to live with my then-girlfriend. Didn't work out down there almost straight away, she wanted me gone and with no friends down there whatsoever, I had no choice than to move back, with even less than I arrived with as I couldn't afford to move it all again. My old employer wouldn't take me back either.

Then, just over a year ago, after i'd sorted myself out and got my own fancy apartment, another ex (that I was living with) decided to leave me for someone else, leaving me with no chance of paying bills or whatever. In the end, one of my friends moved in and bailed me out until the first year was out and I could leave without losing my deposit and/or getting sued/whatever. Although when he left, he didn't leave a note, I just came back to find him gone and many of my games missing

I've met someone caring and lovely now, so although you'll probably feel really awful right at this moment, happiness is only a short time away.

[Nembot]

I feel for you fella, I really do. I`ve been in similar situations more than once and it feels like your world has ended, when infact it is just the begining of a new chapter in your life.

There is nothing that anyone can say to you that will make you feel better, a partner leaving is almost upsetting as a loved one dying. I hope you have some good buddies around you as they will certainly help, but you will come back a stronger person for the experience, I guarentee it.

[MattyD]

is it a case of u not talking about stuff together i.e. communicating? This might clear the air u see & things might improve. If there's no hope then although I'm no expert, there's no point in being miserable for the rest of your life. It's best u move on. You're only gonna look back & see what a waste it was, when u & your wife could've parted & been happier with other people.

Oh, the irony.