The Relationship Thread-Good, Bad or Indifferent.

[teddymeow]

Not being funny but if you can get over someone in a week, then it wasn't love.

That's what I thought too. It's going to take me ages to start trusting anyone I even have the slightest feelings for.

Like Charles said, my wife had obviously been thinking what she'd been thinking for a while and I'm still not 100% there yet. I just need to remember it's a marathon not a sprint (for want of a better analogy).

[NemesiS]

Not being funny but if you can get over someone in a week, then it wasn't love.

Then you have misread what i posted. It was over for 18 months..we just drifted along in a comfortable rut. Having said that tho, i am quite single minded and can quite easily put relationships behind me once they are finished, never to look back.

Its not about love (though after 8 years i'm sure it was slightly more than fondness!!) , its about moving on. I quite simply do not see the point in looking at the glass half empty and being misearable about things. If its over, its over. Just get on with your life.. Thats always been my mantra

At the end of the day its never easy and everyone is different at dealing with things. My mates brother in laws missus left him for his best mate just before xmas after 16 years of marriage & two kids. She said she'd been feeling that way for 3 years and had been having an affair for two. How bad and humiliated does he feel!? The way i look at it, if she's done that, then your better off well shut of her.. Me and him were great company at xmas, lol

[cutmymilk]

Too true. A guy said to me a week after "do you really want to be with someone who can..."

And I said "good point." If a woman doesnt almost worship you (and the other way around as well) whats the point. Some people move on easier than others sure, guess I'm one of them. The best is yet to come...

[DeathAdder]

Now I can yes as proved by the spaghetti bolognese I made at 1am the other day!

I think the main difference between me and a lot of the people posting in this thread is that I am married and in the process of getting divorced whereas others are in long term relationships without the legal ties.

This is why I can't just draw a line under it, go out, get pissed and shag some random woman I meet. There are some pretty serious legal ramifications if I were to do that and get found out. If my estranged wife wants to run around with a new guy while legally still married then do be it - I won't do anything that could jeopardise my position of holding the moral high ground and my solicitor agrees with me.

Once I have decree absolute it's game on!!

What potential legal problems are there if one person moves out and then starts a new fling before the decree absolute comes along?

[teddymeow]

If my research (Googling) is correct then it is classed as adultery if less than 6 months have passed since the initial separation and divorce proceedings have begun so she could turn round and claim I'm committing adultery even though we're not together. Baring in mind she slept with someone else 3 weeks after leaving me I could've gone down that road but I want it sorted as quickly as possible and uncontested. A contested divorce can go on for many months and cost over ?5000 what with the constant back and forth between parties.

I just want this chapter of my life closed so I can move forward and hopefully meet someone new.

If my research is incorrect please, someone tell me.

[EDDIE M0NS00N]

All the very best for the future to all those that have had a rough time of it as of late. Just make sure you take care of yourselves, cos no one else will.

[ItsThere]

If my research (Googling) is correct then it is classed as adultery if less than 6 months have passed since the initial separation and divorce proceedings have begun so she could turn round and claim I'm committing adultery even though we're not together. Baring in mind she slept with someone else 3 weeks after leaving me I could've gone down that road but I want it sorted as quickly as possible and uncontested. A contested divorce can go on for many months and cost over ?5000 what with the constant back and forth between parties.

I just want this chapter of my life closed so I can move forward and hopefully meet someone new.

If my research is incorrect please, someone tell me.

It is adultery until the decree absolute is passed.

I just checked with the matrimonial dept. of my law firm.

[teddymeow]

It is adultery until the decree absolute is passed.

I just checked with the matrimonial dept. of my law firm.

Maybe I should get back in touch with my Solicitor and change my petition!

[ItsThere]

Maybe I should get back in touch with my Solicitor and change my petition!

Lol, as you say in your earlier post, it probably isn't worth the hassle.

Leave the baggage behind and move on. Hope it works out for the best mate.

[112]

And I said "good point." If a woman doesnt almost worship you (and the other way around as well) whats the point. Some people move on easier than others sure, guess I'm one of them. The best is yet to come...

Thats a very valid point you pointed out there... more often than not, the scale of a relationship tends to tip to one side in terms of how much one half likes/loves/adores the other, from my experience,for a healthy relationship to last the distance the scale needs to fluctuate between the two around the middle. That's not to say that the scales should shift from one end to another like a metrodome mind. No relationship is equal where both halves feel the absolute same for one another (but thats obvious) some give and take is required...

Problem is when the scales hardly tip in favour of the other, where one half receives more care and attention than the other. That is when alarm bells should start sounding, and something needs to be done. Some people are often blinded by the one sided aspect of their relationships, as they are too caught up in it all...

Question is how do you have a 'healthily' balanced relationship?

Communication

But then what do I know, I jus go by my experiences, and I have not experienced everything in the world so thats my 50 cents in the club, partying like it's her birthday...

Feel better Richie dude! You are on a caring forum here, so theres bound to be some sage advice from contributing members! Some post on here regularly...

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[vanpeebles]

But, my day was brightened by the fact that he's had to go away on a course for the week and she was whinging about not seeing him on Valentines Day.

Excuse me but;

hahahahahahaha...ahem...

Teddymeow! You stand before us but the shackles are still attached. Forget this chow-bell and her bell-chowing ways. She still eats away at you but you need to remove her from your consciousness or she will still control you.

[kryss]

^Agreed. I have zero contact with my wife (who took about 6 months to actually commit adultery), she's blocked on MSN and Facebook and that's not changing.

[teddymeow]

I have zero contact with her but mutual acquaintances seem to revel in telling me what's what despite me saying I don't want to knowalso, I don't exactly live in a huge town so seeing her and new man walking around is not uncommon.

I can go for days without thinking about it and then see her randomly which brings me back down. The thought of the betrayal is mortifying!!

[vanpeebles]

Teddymeow! Lay the law down with them also.

[112]

I have zero contact with her but mutual acquaintances seem to revel in telling me what's what despite me saying I don't want to knowalso, I don't exactly live in a huge town so seeing her and new man walking around is not uncommon.

I can go for days without thinking about it and then see her randomly which brings me back down. The thought of the betrayal is mortifying!!

You need to get yourself a YOUNGER/HOTTER/BLONDER/or DARKER or REDDER model to sink your teeth into, that'll sort you out!

This seasons must have version is blonde I believe...

Failing that, watch some Glee, that'll cheer you up, when those thoughts come a cropper...

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