The Banter Thread / Banter Topic / Sean Bean

[djjimbob]

I am allergic to almonds and what happened when my friend 'surprised' me with a drink on Christmas Eve as we got indoors from our last minute Christmas shopping?

You silly bugger indeed!

Did he shove an almond up your bum?

[VR46]

Read and watch, nothing else needs to be said!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1218122/Rishi-Bavejas-bungee-jump-accident-Briton-hits-water-80mph-elastic-cord-flies-loose.html

[charlesr]

I ended up sorting out a fresh install of a PC and starting writing some rules for a Warhammer 40,000 pen and paper session

I played the whole of HOTD Overkill with my brother in law over some beers and then went to the beach the next day. Ace.

[charlesr]

Read and watch, nothing else needs to be said!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ies-loose.html

heheh crazy stuff. He might as well have not bothered with the bungee. As one of the comments says, he didn't dive so when the cord went tight it flipped him round really fast

[NW2013]

Unlucky! Does it really make a difference if you dive or go feet first? I think you would still expect the cord to stay attched either way!

[Ady]

Get this.

I'm working a late shift this week. I start at 10:30 and finish at 7, but ended up finishing half an hour later because some software I had to install and update in one of the classroom suites took a little longer than I expected.

I return to my office to collect my things and go, but because its late, the main door is locked for security reasons and I have to enter the office via the back door which is only accessible through a classroom used by the Art and Design department. There is a class there doing life-drawing. They politely let me pass.

By the time I have finished sending a couple of emails and collecting my things, I leave by the same back door. The class has moved around the room and the tutor blocks my path, telling me I cannot come back this way because there is a naked woman in the room. At first, I thought he was joking, but I look over to my left and see a saggy woman in her late 40s standing there with her back to me as the class paint her. I then get into some dialogue with the tutor (who I don't recognise as he only does night classes), explaining that I am a member of staff, that I cannot exit via the front door leaving thousands of pounds worth of IT equipment in an unlocked room and that he cannot tell me where I can and cannot go.

It was all quite random, but it got me wondering; how much do they pay these life drawing subjects and where to they get them from? Also, does the advert for the job specify being saggy and a little overweight as requirements?

[Kieran76]

It's an old sitcom classic isn't it? Group of randy blokes desperate for some
naked flesh do a still life course, only to be confronted by a bloke or some old lady.

[charlesr]

Unlucky! Does it really make a difference if you dive or go feet first? I think you would still expect the cord to stay attched either way!

If you go feet first, you get an almighty flip as the cord goes tight. If you dive you just get pulled straight back up. The rotational inertia (or whatever it's called) must be enormous.

[gunrock]

and that he cannot tell me where I can and cannot go.

This is the far more interesting part of the story. I can't stand people who try to tell you want you can or can't do, especially when you're doing exactly what you supposed or are entitled to do.

I had a similar thing happen last year. I work in the city and I was working late one night and left about 10pm. I was cutting it fine to get down to London Bridge station in time for my train and I wasn't in a good mood, as my code still wouldn't work and I was up against a deadline.

I get halfway up the road (Throgmorton Street, if you're interested) and there was a big limo blocking the road outside the Drapers Hall and the pavement was being blocked by a middle eastern looking gentleman in a black suit. I tried to pass and he put his hand up and asked if I would please wait a minute. Annoyed, I looked at the building entrance and saw an Arab gentleman and his companion (a lady in a burqa) were leaving a function and saying their goodbyes.

So I was just expected to stand there waiting for some bloke to shake hands and exchange gratitudes, and miss my train home? **** that. So I attempted to push on through, but Mr bodyguard places his hand on my chest and says firmly "Please wait". Now, I'm a big guy and go where I want, but I think to myself that this guy's probably a hand-to-hand combat specialist, or worse, carrying a weapon of some type, so I turn away and walk around the back of the limo.

At that point a car door opens and another bodyguard gets out and puts his hand up. I say loudly "I just want to go home. I have a train to catch", and keep moving towards him. He looks over at his colleague who (much to my relief) nods at him and the guy steps aside. As I move past the car and up the road, I turn around and whilst still moving away, and thank them.

I catch my train with some seconds to spare, but wondered how differently things may have turned out.

[Ady]

That's pretty much how I felt last night too, Gunrock. I just wanted to go home. I didn't need some guy (a night tutor who has NO authority over me whatsoever, no less) trying to tell me what to do.

[gunrock]

Ady,

It's funny how some people do that. I guess that they either make a snap judgement about what sort of person you are (i.e a pushover) or they get away with it often enough to think that they are in the right.

I once had a guy tell me that I was rude to walk through a door that he was holding open for his female associate, without saying thank you. The truth of the matter was, that I was going down stairs at full clip and the door was at the bottom of the stairs and around the corner. With all my momentum (18 stone of it), I happened zoom right in through the open door after his colleague, whilst he still had it open. Upon getting through the door and seeing him there, I said "Ahthanyou" in a vaguely amusing way.

He took umbrage to this and as I left the bar/restaurant, he followed me out to the stairwell and started telling me I was incredibly rude. I told him it was meant to be funny and meant no offence, but he still wouldn't let it go.

So there's me, halfway up the stairs, him at the bottom. It went something like this:

Me: Look, like I've already said, I meant no offence.
Him: Well, that's just not good enough!
Me: Oh really? Well, it'll just have do, sunshine.
Him: How dare you speak to me like that! How dare you! You can't say things like that!
Me: I can't say what? What do you mean I 'can't say that'? I just did, mate.
Him: Who do you think you are? Speaking to people in this way! Where are your manners?

At this point, he clenches his fists and starts up the stairs. On each step he starts to raise his voice on each part of this next sentence, ending up at full volume:
I. Said. Have. You. Not. Got. ANY. MANNERS?!

So I replied, "Well, why don't you come up here and teach me some?"

He stopped dead in his tracks. He unclenched his fists, and started to get flustered, demanding to know if I worked in the building, was I a building contractor (I was in jeans), who was my employer, etc.

I told him to get stuffed and carried on up the stairs.

[spagmasterswift]

Funny stories guys. I think it has a lot to do with which 'club' you are seen to be belonging to. I work in an incredibly laid back publishing house and often wear clothes that I would wear at Glastonbury - sadly I walk from Tower Hill through the city to the Tate Modern every morning and evening and am regularly expected to move aside for important suited businessmen who view me at best as a tourist, at worse a tramp. The days when I dress up for a meeting its a much different story. Poxy bankers!

[endo]

This is quality- haven't got to the end yet, but a quiz with a difference:

http://thequietus.com/articles/00760-it-s-a-question-of-mime-play-the-quietus-album-cover-quiz-game

[Jebus]

Forums...they get on my nerves so much sometimes.

Anyone got any idea why we put ourselves through it?

I guess we all want to be part of a "community", but hell, what if the community is a rat infested ****-stained corpse?

[Spatial]

There are rats on here now?