The Banter Thread / Banter Topic / Sean Bean

[marcus]

Being the (great) son I am, yesterday I went to Comet to buy my mother a new washing machine. I got her a Hotpoint one (she swears by them) and it cost ?330, but as it was the end of the line they had none in stock (there was also 3 other Hotpoints but all of them were also end of line, except the most expensive one funnily enough), and rather than waiting about indefinetly for a new one I said I was happy to buy the display one and they duly knocked ?30 odd from the price.

Got it into my car, called a mate to come meet me to carry it up a flight of stairs (heavy bastard), took the old one out, bunged that into the car ready for the skip today, plumbed the new one in (by this time my mother was getting ridiculously excited by it all), pressed the power button and.... nothing.

Since then, Ive tried everything I can to get the power on, changed the fuse, tred all sorts of button combinations, turned the water off, and on, made sure the door was shut and so on, but nothing.

Im on the phone to Comet soon for what I have no doubt will be a angry conversation when they inevitably refuse to send someone round today to fix it, or provide a replacement and take the duff one away.

This is basically a pre-moan about customer service in the UK, Id be surprised if they even said sorry tbh.

There is the slim chance that they are bothered by this, and do sort something out, but lets face it, when was the last time a major retail company put itself out for a customer after money has changed hands?

[jimmbob]

Nope unfortunately it'll be one of those wait 6 weeks for a replacement jobbies, and kiss our ass if you don't like it.

[marcus]

They said they are sending an engineer our on Thursday to look at it, if it is found to be irrepairable then I wont be happy waiting weeks for a new one. Its more annoying as a washing machine isnt one of those things you can just pick up and return to the store, it weighs a tonne and thats before I try to negotiate the stairs again :/

[VR46]

posted in the Top Gear thread but worthy of posting here also

For those of you who are mechanically challenged, don't open the
photo until you've read the email

Yesterday I was having some work done at the Ford dealer. A woman, a blonde no less, came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten.

We all looked at each other, and the mechanic asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, lost it and need a new one. It had always been there."

The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.

He then took her over to another car which had the bonnet up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?"

She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there."

Now open the photo to learn what a 710 is.

[dataDave]

The joys of being able to pull as many women as you want when dressed up.

WI was Best man at my uncles wedding this weekend and not owning a suit I had to hire one. Not being satisfied with what was in stock at the shop I had to order all the bits from all over... Navy suit + tail jacket, purple velvet waist-coat, plum cravat and hanky, even the cravat pin was flown in from Preston. Absolutely stunning attire, all I needed was a purple katana to finish it off. (I even combed my hair and had it look all 17th century - photos shortley). The wedding went well and my speech was off the cuff and had everyone laughing. Being with family I drink all the bottles of bud I can to get pissed but it doesn't work. 2 meals and 18 bottles later at 11pm I decide it's time to venture into town along with a few of the guys. After losing that lot I get fed up with the noise and decide to head home. (literally 10secs up the road) after leaving the club I notice three cute girls contemplating whether or not to go in, one blonde, one red-head and one brunette. I tell them it's crap inside and also (jokingly) that they should come to mine instead, that I only live around the corner *points to flash buildng*. One of them asks me totally out of the blue if I have any skunk, well of course I have some skunk, and so I go back to my flat, with a bitch in each arm and one extra, wearing my (mostly) purple suit.

It gets better. When inside I lose the lights, light the candles/lavalamps etc, get Geometry Wars on the wall + some of my classic choons pumping warmly. Flirting isn't the word either - I decide to change out of the suit incase it gets damaged by these man-eaters. They tell me to come back "commando" too which made me giggle maniacally.

I come back, indeed in commando for the first time in my life, feeling somewhat vulnerable. So I decide to make a spliff as promised, thinking it may slow these down a bit which would be better. I make an extra large joint out of x2 king size zig-zags and start smoking with them...

and then... that was it. The next thing I know I'm waking up at 7am with the Geometry Wars title screen going for it, albeit dimmed due to lack of interaction - which ironically summed up my feelings perfectly.

I've never instantly caffled before. The full day of drinking nancy-beer must have caught up with me, the mammoth joint being the final nuke.

What a dummy. ><

[spagmasterswift]

**** Fallows, if I'd done that in my neighbourhood I'd have woken up in an empty room!! Gutted dude, but remember winners don't use drugs!

[dataDave]

I'm actually very lucky mate as it's like that around here tbh. The first thing they would have stolen was the skunk, so when I checked my kitchen top and found 3/4 of a 20-bag still there I was pretty chuffed.

They could have done one with so much stuff. ><

[Crisp_Rapper]

bitches.... leave?

[spagmasterswift]

[thebuddahman]

I went to my hairdressers today at 2pm and what did I find? It was feckin shut. I mean come on, what kind of stylist is shut at 2pm on a Monday eh!

[dataDave]

I went to my hairdressers today at 2pm and what did I find? It was feckin shut. I mean come on, what kind of stylist is shut at 2pm on a Monday eh!

It was probably that time of month.

Hairdressers are for women anyway.

[VR46]

Quite a few are closed Mondays, to make up for opening Saturday. 5 day working week and all that, plus who normally gets their hair-cut on a Monday ? (except you)

[Kieran76]

My brothers on The Weakest Link in 45 mins, I am not going to say who is in case he is a bit of a twat. Which knowing my brother is very likely.

[Crisp_Rapper]

My brothers on The Weakest Link in 45 mins, I am not going to say who is in case he is a bit of a twat. Which knowing my brother is very likely.

you born in sheffield? i'll just listen out for an accent

[Kieran76]

you born in sheffield? i'll just listen out for an accent

Stop being clever Sherlock