Little things that irk you.. (no swearing please)

[Jebus]

People who say "like" all the time in conversation, "and I'm like..." ARGH.

Also people who say "No dramas". You aren't cool, and you never will be.

Actually, should there be a thread about "phrases/words that rile you?"...listening to the Frank Skinner show podcasts made me think of those two.

[Lyris]

"Men" who watch X Factor.

Gender stereotypes.

And the X-Factor. And the BBC knockoff dancing show, which seems to be the X-Factor for posh people.

[EDDIE M0NS00N]

And the X-Factor. And the BBC knockoff dancing show, which seems to be the X-Factor for posh people.

I think most modern tv progs are ****e tbh. I seem to only watch Dave most of the time for the 90's comedy & Top Gear stuff, & Scrubs on E4.



Not having a go averybluemonkey, but I just saw your love for buses bit in the 'things you love' thread & had to put my hatred of them here.

They smell terrible, the drivers speed around like nutters sometimes almost missing the stop (Driver - "you wanna put your arm out a bit sooner so I can see it sonny boy". Me - "I did but you were too busy with your lead foot & looking to your right instead of straight ahead not to notice me"), or they actually DO miss the stop because they're dreaming out of the window, or they brake too soon when you're waiting to get off nearly throwing you out the windscreen, or they speed off too fast before you even get a chance to sit down, & theyre full of chavs, psychos & perverts.

Well, they are round my way anyway.

[ItsThere]

The phrase "no pun intended".

90% of the time of course the bloody pun was intended. Don't ruin the illusion of subtelty with a big stomping and pointless nonsense.*



*Although I am guilty of this myself from time to time, it equals great amounts of self loathing...

[Spatial]

Add to that the phrase "I'm not being funny right, but..." which is usually then followed by a comment that could land them with a smack in the gob.

[Jebus]

Told you a thread was needed...

"It goes without saying..." then don't say it.

From the Frank Skinner show I mentioned there were the following...

When asked how they are, they reply "Not three bad" - Again, you aren't cool and you most certainly aren't funny.

"How you diddlin?" - Again, die.

[Brad]

Interestingly those last two usually go hand in hand during the reuniting of two plebs.

[kernow]

Add to that the phrase "I'm not being funny right, but..." which is usually then followed by a comment that could land them with a smack in the gob.

I had a friend who would do this all the time, and afterwards he'd say something totally inoffensive that didn't even make sense. I don't think he understood its meaning or usage really.

[funkydan]

Stupid f*cking dumbass women pulling out into the road in front, stopping, and then slamming their car into reverse and backing up into my stationary car for no apparent reason! That really grinds me gears, as did the job centre cocknockers prior to that event, who are slower, and as about as useful, as a turd sliding down the back of a toilet bowl!

[Lyris]

That last part was poetry

Add to that the phrase "I'm not being funny right, but..." which is usually then followed by a comment that could land them with a smack in the gob.

See also, "At the end of the day, yeah, ................."

[abigsmurf]

People who beep learner drivers.

Everyone had to learn at some point. Beeping a learner at a roundabout is a sure fire way to either make them stall or to pull out dangerously. And if it's a learner stopped on a hill, if you don't leave them space, you deserve what happens to you.

[EDDIE M0NS00N]

After my day you can now add buses that dont f**kin turn up on time, or even within 10 mins of the time they were supposed to be there.

[ShadowDancer]

The fact that everything I have touched is breaking (PC okay so far) but...

I broke the milk shelf in the fridge including the clip and the kettle wont boil even though the light is coming on....

What a night!

[JazzFunk]

Buses especially piss me right off. I hate waiting for buses, I get to the stop well-early, the bus doesn't arrive, I get to work late, get slightly bollocked (I can deal with that).What I can't deal with is when this happens regularly, the bus knocks, is very late, or simply doesn't arrive, and it makes me look bad at work, day after day with this happening. I shouldn't have to get up two hours early than I should just in case I might miss a bus that SHOULD have arrived but didn't due to sheer ineptitude on the bus company's behalf - I work bloody hard and need my futching sleep!

If my bus fare takes several price hikes a year, then the services should be doing their damnedest to be professional and actually serve us in the manner we deserve to be. All this paid-for **** service - under our ancient, knightly British laws of honour and chivalry - is actually a *criminal act against honour*, and heads need to roll, bodies need to be skewered open. Bad service = HATE!

The bus service with the closest stops to me is Arriva. They are the cause of my insane anger. They're called "Arriva" and they don't even thucking "Arriv(e)". Arriva are a right set of (Dean R.) koontz. 'First' at least have loads of services on the go, and if one knocks, then you can be pretty sure another will be along not long after. And they have more friendly drivers, often Polish, African, and Lesbian ones, friendly ones, unlike the skulking, bitter, impotent, fat racists that Arriva seem to employ (you know, the ones who stare too long and hard at your fare, kind of insinuating that you're the type of person to underpay, then grunt or make no vocal or physical gestures to acknowledge your interaction with them. The ones who try to make you feel like you're a turd they just stepped in, when in fact you pay their wages, you're the sole reason they get a fairly decent, easy job just driving around every bastard day, AND I GET MUCH LESS THAN YOU AND I WORK HARDER THAN YOU AND I TREAT EVERYBODY WITH HUMILITY, GOOD-HUMOUR AND RESPECT AND THAT IS WHY I AM FUCCIN' ANGRY!!!!)

To get the more frequent 'First' buses into Leeds, I have to make a ten minute walk to get to the stop, and I've been doing this more frequently as of late, because I quite simply am getting sick of funding a ****e bus company. And, 'ironically', Arrivas that I expected to be late or nonexistent suddenly drive past me, as though they're laughing at me. I can't win!!!!

One day, I want to fire a Gatling at a double decker Arriva (driver still aboard), shoot out all the windows, take the driver's head apart with bullets, blast the wheels clean off and finish off with a shot to the fuel tank, watching the coont explode brilliantly and dramatically, firing what's left of the driver's head thirty feet up into the air, me having a victory wank when it finally drops and splats all over the asphalt.

[JazzFunk]

Oh, yeah, and all that crap about increasing the price of supermarket alcohol that you're seeing in the newspapers, 50p a unit and all that (under the auspices of "protecting society from alcohol abuse, underage drinking and ill-health").

It's not! You bastards just want to tax alcohol because you messed up with the outlawing of public smoking, raped the concept of 'the local pub' out of existence and still want to keep your fat wages!!!

BASTARDS!