The Relationship Thread-Good, Bad or Indifferent.

[Resonance]

That is the thing with female on male domestic violence and I am guessing a big percentage of it just goes unreported.

[Lyris]

Well, I got a text from the ex today. After no contact for a while, she said she'd been reminded of me and hopes that I'm OK.

I didn't reply yet. Any recommendations? A "Sorry, who's this?" might have worked, but she put her name in the text, damn. I'm leaving it for awhile anyway. Nice to know that I am still in her mind, perhaps if I give her time to wallow she'll realise how badly she screwed up...

She tends to keep her exs around, presumably as some sort of security blanket. I can tell that deep down she's an insecure person, so I imagine keeping people around is some sort of ego boost. I don't really want to participate in that - but at the same time, I would be lying if I were to say I'd outright reject her.

That is the thing with female on male domestic violence and I am guessing a big percentage of it just goes unreported.

Yes, there were also studies that showed the spread of domestic violence is about 50/50 (or actually slanted more in the woman's direction, which goes against popular perception).

Supposedly, they asked men and women if they had been victims of domestic violence. Most of the men said no; more women said yes.
Then, they clarified the question and asked specific things like, "Have you been slapped?", "Have you been hit?" - which revealed it was more even than people thought.

[teddymeow]

Lyris, ignore it mate. If you reply she'll take it as some sort of "I still have pull in his life" if that makes sense?

Met up with a couple of friends last night to break the monotony of being signed off and stuck indoors on my own. I don't think I'll have an issue getting "back in the game" after a conversation I had with someone I've known for a while.

Not long.

[prinnysquad]

Toot, toot! Steam on in there, Teddy.

[Lyris]

Met up with a couple of friends last night to break the monotony of being signed off and stuck indoors on my own. I don't think I'll have an issue getting "back in the game" after a conversation I had with someone I've known for a while.

Lucky... I've met new people, but I've not gone through with anything. I don't tend to go through with anything unless I'm a) looking for a casual lay or b) feeling a real spark. What I'm saying is, I can wait, I guess.

As for the text: I don't really want to ignore it entirely, although the idea of her thinking "why isn't he replying" is putting a little bit of a smile on my face. (Great, now I'M playing games, I've stooped to that level!). I'm thinking that replying and questioning what her real motive is might be the way to go.

[teddymeow]

Lucky... I've met new people, but I've not gone through with anything. I don't tend to go through with anything unless I'm a) looking for a casual lay or b) feeling a real spark. What I'm saying is, I can wait, I guess.

I've never been the type to really consider a "casual lay", I'm much more of a "feeling the spark" person, but I'm coming around to the way of thinking that having spent 9 years with the same woman maybe I'm due a few notches. So to speak...

I'm not saying that I'll jump straight in the sack with someone as soon as I'm truly single but it is nice to know that people think I'm worthy of a go. I've always had pretty low self esteem regarding my physical appearance so for someone to turn around and say such flattering things / tell me they want to jump me is quite a nice confidence boost.

[kryss]

Well, I got a text from the ex today. After no contact for a while, she said she'd been reminded of me and hopes that I'm OK.

I didn't reply yet. Any recommendations? A "Sorry, who's this?" might have worked, but she put her name in the text, damn. I'm leaving it for awhile anyway. Nice to know that I am still in her mind, perhaps if I give her time to wallow she'll realise how badly she screwed up...

She tends to keep her exs around, presumably as some sort of security blanket. I can tell that deep down she's an insecure person, so I imagine keeping people around is some sort of ego boost. I don't really want to participate in that - but at the same time, I would be lying if I were to say I'd outright reject her.

Ignore it. It's her playing games, not you.

I could do with some of that I must admit Teddy, it's always good to get an ego boost from time to time. The closest I've had is "if I was single... oops, forget I said that".

[Lyris]

Well, I should bump this thread with a little tale that's not really about relationships as such, but an experience I had with a girl who is full-on FRUIT LOOPS!



Basically this girl had been talking to me a lot on Facebook and we have a mutual friend (to use their lingo), and she kept asking me to go and meet up with them. So I said sure, okay. Basically we were out for drinks and she started leaning against me and stroking my back. So, she's a nice enough girl but I'm just not interested, but at the same time am not really disturbed enough by a girl leaning against me to actually do anything (and I'd rather not embarrass her in front of her friends, or risk a scene by blowing her off). So I just smile and continue as before.

So, she signs in tonight and asks if I'm mad at her, I say "nope, how come?", her answer implied that she wanted me to be mad at her, because she was embarrassed about being rejected (or should I say, embarrassed about me not acting on any of her advances). Wow - welcome to our world, sweetheart! That is part of the risk I'm afraid! Truth be told, having a girl you're clearly not interested in persist in being touchy-feely with you is a little bit of an awkward situation, in fact, if the genders were swapped people would probably decide it was a bit creepy.

Anyway, before hitting the block button (or going offline or whatever), she exited with, "No wonder you always get dumped!" Amazing. Remind me why I don't usually bother pursuing relationships again?

[toythatkills]

That post raises two important questions.

1) What was wrong with her?
2) You have to buy two boxes of cereal to get a free toy these days?

[Lyris]

Flip knows. From the week or so I spoke to her, I got the idea that her parents were strictly religious, and although she's not, I wonder if they've done some sort of mental damage. Quite scary when you think about it.

I know not all women are this crazy - but it does make me wonder, to what extent am I mentally better off from having been single for almost my entire life?

[kryss]

C*cktease?

Wait, that's more you being cl*t-tease.

What was wrong with her? Not physically attractive is perfectly acceptable btw.

[Lyris]

Not physically attractive enough to make me want to bother (I'm a picky mo-fo at the best of times). Her lack of confidence. Slightly nuts and not in the good way (I guess that's called foresight, or intuition).

[Rossco]

Haha, the final line of your conversation with her made it. Fruit loop indeed.

[toythatkills]

Not physically attractive enough to make me want to bother (I'm a picky mo-fo at the best of times). Her lack of confidence. Slightly nuts and not in the good way (I guess that's called foresight, or intuition).

Aren't the slightly nuts one meant to be better in bed?

Jus' sayin'.

[elaniel]

Another crazy bitch to add to the list.
Went out for a meal on Tuesday in Birmingham for a date. Now, I'm not a cheapskate but I don't see the point of wasting money for no reason. Things were going well and when the bill arrived I gave the waiter the 2 for 1 voucher that I had. He went off to get the manager who had to verify the usage of the voucher.

The look on her face was of pure disgust after the waiter left the table. She said I was cheap and she was worth more than someone using a 2 for 1 voucher on her and that (her words) "If you even want an opportunity to have a second date with me, you won't use the voucher." (What the actual ****?!) The meal was over ?60!

At no point did she even offer to go dutch with me. As soon as the bill arrived she looked straight at me. I honestly don't mind paying for it, but if I pay I damn well have the right to pay in whatever method I choose to.
If she is like that on the first date, then imagine how she would be with money after being together a few months! What a nightmare.

I ended up just getting out of my chair and walking out of the restaurant.