The Banter Thread / Banter Topic / Sean Bean

[VR46]

Complete change of subject, person at work has been fined ?50 for going into bus lane, not driving down so to speak but putting two wheels in it when undertaking a car waiting to run right - know your not supposed to do it, but they physically had a mobile camera set up to purposely catch people doing it. A new low ?

[hankwangford]

mmm, 63 minutes into the working week and I already want to go home, crawl under the sheets with Phoenix Wright 2 and never brave the outside world again.

Anything outside the house is ****

[kernow]

hah, i can't disagree there, its so cozy inside.

bloody clocks changing, I got up at 7am instead of 6:30 and had to rush around half hungover in order to make it into work on time bah etc moan quibble.

[djjimbob]

I did a U-turn in Holborn about 100 yards after a junction that was no right/left turn indicated so that I could turn left as I wished.

Camera nailed me saying it was illegal even though there were was no indications that Uturns were banned.

****ing ridiculous. Had just moved house (oop North) so was too late to contest and only just managed to avoid paying 100quid.

The wife and I have clocked up 3 fines between us. Just money for old rope really - they are fining you for using your initiative and keeping the traffic flowing.

And some little pencil-necked spotty little cockshaft with a joystick taking it all down. The c*nts.

[Alastair]

And some little pencil-necked spotty little cockshaft with a joystick taking it all down. The c*nts.

Bad luck dude, I think that job would be fun for a short while though!

[VR46]

The first Xmas spam post \O/

My Dear friends,

Somewhat embarrassing to admit, if I'm not getting an annual bonus and
Christmas is tight this year. I will be making bedroom slippers for you
all as gifts.

Please let me know your sizes.

You'll most likely agree that it's a splendid idea, and should you wish
to do the same, I've included the instructions below:
How to make bedroom slippers out of maxi pads:
You need four maxi pads to make a pair.
Two of them get laid out flat, for the foot part.
The other two wrap around the toe area to form the top.
Tape or glue each side of the top pieces to the bottom of the foot part.
Decorate the tops with whatever you desire, silk flowers (this is most
aesthetically appealing), etc.

These slippers are:
* Soft and Hygienic
* Non-slip grip strips on the soles
* Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh
* No more bending over to mop up spills
* Disposable and biodegradable
* Environmentally safe
* Three convenient sizes: Regular, Light and Get out the Sand Bags.

I've attached a photo of the first pair I made so that you can see the
nifty slippers for yourself....
Awaiting your response. It's crucial that I get the right size for each
one of you.

[Crisp_Rapper]

those look really comfy.

[Rossco]

Ladbrokes sent me an email saying I had another $20 in my poker account to entice me back as I havent played for a while, so I went on and played for a bit and just before I logged off, I thought I'd stick my winnings on blackjack since it wasnt my money in the first place anyway. Played about 30 hands say, and the dealer got 9 blackjacks and I got zero. Thats a bit odd if you ask me, wont be blackjacking with them any time in the future the filthy cheats!!!

[VR46]

....

It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife
are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes
about her false leg. Personally, I think it's prosthetic.

News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from his
wife Heather Mills-McCartney. Mrs Mills-McCartney is said to be
distraught over the split. "He has been my crutch for so long"! She said
in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm
really stumped"

"She's running around in circles", according to a close friend, "she
will need all the support she can get. It's not like its easy to walk
out on a relationship like this"


Finally a poem by Sir Paul McCartney:

I lay upon a grassy bank
My hands were all a quiver
I slowly removed her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river

[thebuddahman]

My house is a feckin mess from last night's party. Meh, I will clean it sometime.

[Briareos]

Well work sure sucks, I started at nine this morn and I'm still here. I hate deadlines.

[VR46]

Had to fooking de-ice the car this morning, gone from going out in a t-shirt at the weekend to bloody freezing in less than a week. Winter has arrived.

[kernow]

my phones alarm refuses to make any noise, I'm going to go mental if I have to rely on my body clock again. all I did was put the time back an hour, and now it sets off the alarm but doesnt make a peep.

stupid bloody thing, I booked friday off though so I can laze around in my pants looking at 2d women online....

[Lebowski]

I spent about an hour laying under my wife's car trying to change one of the headlight bulbs the thing was a nightmare as you had to do it from under the car half blind as the battery is in the way, didn't finish it till gone 11:30 as she came back form her mums with the light out and demanded we change it as its AGAINST THE LAW to drive with a bulb out got it done but my arms and hands are ripped to shreads and its not fun laying in the road in the cold.

why do they have to make them so bloody fiddly to change??? stupid cars.

[VR46]

Know how you feel, I had to do the same in January for my MOT, Peugeot 206, so so fiddly, cut knuckles, the works

They make it so awkward so you give in and take it to a garage to get it done.