The Banter Thread / Banter Topic / Sean Bean

[Wools]

You big girl.

Although in this heat anything is advisable!

[VR46]

Courtesy of today's Metro

Brussels bureaucrats are now considering if Bombay Mix should be renamed Mumbai Mix to reflect the re-naming of the Indian city in 1995.

What tough highly paid jobs they have in Brussels eh.

[Jushin-Thunder-Liger]

I cant stop drinking Magners, especially in this hot weather.

I got up last night at about 3am totally parched and not having any juice in i reached for a cool refreshing Magners........

Thats how George Best started, i imagine

[kernow]

WKD blue is a lasses drink lol, I did drink the irn bru one though, .. when I was 16.

[jimmbob]

WKD is indeed a girls drink. However, mixed with lager (half and half) it's bloody lovely. Same goes for Smirnoff ice.

[Kieran76]

That sounds vile, this summer I have been mostly drinking lager, chilled red wine, or a decent rose or vodka and orange.

[kernow]

I basically gave up drinking because even after a single beer, I feel like crap and my gaming ability goes down the pan.

I'll attempt to get drunk at a weekend with friends then just give up after 3 drinks or something because I have a headache, and I'd rather have a few bongs, antisocial I know, but my gaming ability doesnt take a dive and I dont feel like crap during/after

[marcus]

Whilst enjoying the sun during my lunch hour at work, my attention turned to a commotion happening nearby on the balcony of a 5th story flat. Caught it in time to see a woman throwing a pushbike over the balcony from 5 stories up. Wouldnt like to of been the poor sod walking by below (if there was one)

[VR46]

a warning for all you single men ..

Simon and Mel had only been married for two weeks.
Simon, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to Mel, "Honey, I'll be right back."
"Where are you going, coochycooh?" asked Mel.
"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."
Mel said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
Simon didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..."
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because Mel interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
Simon, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.
"But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know... there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."
"You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your f*cking beer in your goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherf*cking snacks, because you are married now, and you aren't going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?"

[Emir]

a warning for all you single men ..

I get all that, and I'm not married.

No more beer with the boys.

[marcus]

Trains out of Euston are f*cked again, CRAMMED myself onto one which was already delayed an hour in sweltering conditions. Worst thing about working in London by far. I read it was over 50C according to the Evening Standard in some carriages.

[spagmasterswift]

A little boy about 12 years old is walking down the street dragging a
flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of "a
house of ill repute" and knocked on the door.

When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted.

He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money
to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it.

The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in Once in, she told him
to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, "Do any of the girls have any
diseases?"

Of course the Madam said "No".

The boy said, "I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after
making love with Amber - THAT'S the girl I want."

Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the
Madam told him to go to the first room on the right.

He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes
later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out
the door.

The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the
place with a disease, instead of one of the others?"

He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are
going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter.
After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just
happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease
that I just caught. When Mum and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter
home. On the way, he'll give her one in the car and he'll catch the disease.

Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitter's, he and Mum will go to bed
and have sex, and Mum will catch it.

In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk,
have a quickie with Mum and catch the disease, and HE'S the prick who ran
over my FROG!"

[VR46]

Anyone that has access to a Metro today, take a look at page 24, top left, read the whole article, C4 w***athon, quality British broadcasting

[dataDave]

LOLz.

Just found the funniest name ever, this is some guy that's booked into our minibus driving test scheme...

Tahir Mehboob

[Nijo]

Anyone that has access to a Metro today, take a look at page 24, top left, read the whole article, C4 w***athon, quality British broadcasting

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/07/18/tv_spectacular/