The Banter Thread / Banter Topic / Sean Bean

[spagmasterswift]

I've just been into the toilet where I found a messy sanitary towel left on the floor.

Dude, time to start using the Gents innit >_<

[dataDave]

...Or I should have used the staff toilets - but those were too far away and I was desperate.

The nerve though, to drop something like that in an unused educational facility - when they were the only people in all day.

[marcus]

Wasnt there any disabled toilets you could use instead? I love disabled loos, so spacious, clean and well facilitated.

[Dirty Sanchez]

Just think, if you had a pet shark you could hunt the bitch down!

[oblivion_6]

...Or I should have used the staff toilets - but those were too far away and I was desperate.

The nerve though, to drop something like that in an unused educational facility - when they were the only people in all day.

IN my work the director started keeping a log of lassies going in and out of the bog as she went in one day and found a sanitary towel lying face down on the floor with the contents of it wiped all over one of the mirrors and the door

Yes the call centre people in my work are complete minging whores

[VR46]

Lovely. Something you don't see every day, the Mario Bouncy Castle

http://www.kotaku.com/gaming/top/rent-the-mario-bouncy-house-189565.php

[marcus]

Bouncy castles have been in the news a lot recently, and not for good reasons - that story about the one that took to the skies complete with little kiddies on it (one little girl died) was awful :/

Talking of awful news, that kid who stole a car and then deliberately reversed over the owner saying (to his friends ni the car at the time) "he was gona get hurt" or suchlike, gota lighter sentence after he said his foot "slipped". Makes my blood boil that.

[marcus]

Dear technical support...

"Eighteen months ago, I upgraded to GirlFriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run GirlFriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse, GirlFriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.

"Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better. I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other, they caused severe damage to my hardware. I eventually upgraded to Fianc?e 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2003.

"Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail Filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

"Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child processes that drain my resources. These conflict with some of the new games I wanted to try out, warning me that they are an illegal operation.

"Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT hard drive, it often crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called Mother-In-Law, which can't be turned off. Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2003, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2003, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself."

[JU!]

Quality that was so funny

[dataDave]

Wasnt there any disabled toilets you could use instead? I love disabled loos, so spacious, clean and well facilitated.

Exactly mate! LMAO! I usually use our disabled loo all the time for those reasons. I've claimed it as my own personal toilet too. I even have enough space to do press-ups in there when I'm bored.

[112]

eww you do press ups in a public lav? you do realise some peeps cant aim right?

As much as i like teh space in public lavs i feel wierd cos theres so much stuff in there i dunno what to use, when and how lol!

FYI - disabled lavs are getting bigger as a standard cos the law dictates it to be. You could have more room to do who knows what else! /me thinks of somat involving wotsits! O_o

112

[dataDave]

eww you do press ups in a public lav? you do realise some peeps cant aim right?

As much as i like teh space in public lavs i feel wierd cos theres so much stuff in there i dunno what to use, when and how lol!

FYI - disabled lavs are getting bigger as a standard cos the law dictates it to be. You could have more room to do who knows what else! /me thinks of somat involving wotsits! O_o

112

Yeah but mate, no one uses it. EVER. I'm the only person that has EVER used that loo... and it still gets cleaned daily.

[Dirty Sanchez]

What would be worse, being caught having a wank in there or being caught doing press-ups?

Moral dilemma for the day.

[112]

press ups cos they probably would believe you were really doing press ups!

Why the bloody hell would you cower away in a lav to do push ups anyways? its macho and manly to do em! express yah macho aura! Do it in front of the canteen lady! the one with the hairy chin!

The chemicals they put in them floor cleaning stuff, is hazadous to humans if ingested yah know Mr Fallows. Jus dont go lickin yah hands straight after!

Now about them wotsist............. /me imagines the scenario with homer eating flowers in teh toilet lol!

112

[VR46]

I'm sure it's law that all disabled toilets have (working) locks on, uninteresting fact for the day, I have a disabled registered son and the local council gave us a key that fits all the disabled public toilets up and down the country.