The Banter Thread / Banter Topic / Sean Bean

[VR46]

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on Westminster Bridge
Its absolute gridlock... nothing is moving.
Suddenly someone knocks his window. The driver rolls down the window and asks "What's going on?"
"Terrorists are holding Tony Blair, John Prescott, Gordon Brown and John Reid to ransom. They're asking for ?10 million cash, otherwise they're going to douse them with petrol and set them on fire. We're going from car to car, taking up a collection."
The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?"
"About a gallon!!?

[VR46]

dozens of modified Smart car mock-ups, made me laugh anyway

http://www.bureauangenent.nl/smart/start.htm

[Spatial]

Gargh!

Some idiot running a buisness in the the Derbyshire area has decided to forward all his land line calls from his buisness premises to his mobile. Except the thick plank has set the forwarding to my mobile instead.

I've had 50 plus calls today at least from people trying to talk to this guy. It's driving me up the wall!

Caller: Hello is that Roger?
Me: No, you've got the wrong number.
Caller: Oh.... right. Is this XXXXXX?
Me: No this is a mobile number.
Caller: Oh, right. Bye then
Me: Bye

5-10 seconds later

Same Caller: Hello, is that Roger?
Me: *sigh* No, you've got the wrong number
Same Caller: Oh right... wait, did I just speak to you?
Me: Yes.
Same Caller: Oh..... *click*


Just imagine having this same coversation over and over and over all day! And the worst thing is if I don't pick up they just keep ringing and ringing and ringing... I'm in mobile hell!

[VR46]

Hope he hasn't set it up as he's gone on holiday for a fortnight

Make sure you get the number people are phoning so you can call him (when he has switched the divert off)

Just answer the phone with something like "Busty Brenda, 60 seconds is all it takes", and they'll soon hang up

[Spatial]

Via the power of teh interweb I've managed to track down the company and the number - except obviously when I ring the number listed, it goes through to my phone

I've been thinking of buggering about with his customers but am afraid that might be going a wee bit too far...

[Spatial]

So far today my phone hasn't run once.... is it too much to hope that the idiot has figured out how to divert calls properly?

[VR46]

give him a call and see if you get yourself

My ?4 ebuyer speakers blew up big style this morning, nice loud bang and puff of smoke, get what you pay for I suppose, will find a link for them if anyone want's some cheap entertainment for firework night.

[VR46]

My wife and daughter went to the Queens Birthday bash last weekend, amazing how close she was allowed to get to her (photo's are not zoomed in), mind you security on application/the gate was mega tight.

Ignore date, camera resets it as soon as you correct it.

[spagmasterswift]

Oh god, I'm sooooo hard right now!!!

[VR46]

you might prefer the bird from Harry Snotter ... got loads of pics of pretty celebrity ladies but daugter is in most .. and I'm not posting them

[Crisp_Rapper]

you might prefer the bird from Harry Snotter ... got loads of pics of pretty celebrity ladies but daugter is in most .. and I'm not posting them

facially she looks exactly like my mate's little brother... it's quite scary.

[jimmbob]

SONIC!

Little sonic the hedgehog flash game.

[jimmbob]

10 Uses for your unwanted England flags!

[charlesr]

Wanted an Indian takeaway, so rung up a local place for which I had a menu lying around but never tried before. Placed order and drove over there with my father-in-law and parked in the car park behind it. Went in and said we were waiting for my takeaway and gave them my name. They said there would be a bit of a delay, meanwhile accept this half a beer each on the house, which was nice. And a chocolate. I said can I have another chocolate cos the missus is at home and she'll want one too, so they gave me a handful, which was also nice. 20 mins later, they give me my food. Drive home and open it, only to realise it's all the wrong stuff. Ooops. Phoned them up to say it was wrong and they apologised and said they had my order there ready and waiting. I returned and they look at me blankly. After a large amount of headscratching, they say they can't find an order with what I ordered on it and some of it they don't actually sell.... and that I probably ordered my food from the place 2 doors down and they had given me someone elses order who's name sounded similar. Oh dear. They refund me. I look 2 doors down and yes, there's another one. Called almost the same thing (masala gate instead of the india gate I had walked into by accident). I explain I went to the wrong restaurant and they have my stuff. And insist on giving me a discount, even though it's all my fault.

So... although my food was an hour late, I got free beers, a huge handful of chocolates and a discount. Which was nice.

[112]

Is this a true story? Thats bonkers!

112