The Banter Thread / Banter Topic / Sean Bean

[VR46]

Now you know that I'm not normally the sort of person to forward charity
appeals ... but this seemed such a good idea I thought I would.

I have just joined a charity called OJFC (or 'Old Jeans for Charity').

I don't want to come across all boring, but it does seem an excellent
and painless way to help out needy children;

It's a very simple idea - rather than throwing away your old jeans, just
donate them so they may be used to help someone.... the way they helped
this little girl...

[MartyG]

I think we can safely say it's fake ...

I decided not to google it at work to confirm it either way

[jimmbob]

MILLIONS Hit By Toilet Phobia!

HERE

Anyone suffer from this?
Apparently there's going to be a DVD and a self help book. (Presumably to read on the loo?)

[J0e Musashi]

If I can somehow incorporate this into my OCD I'm in!

[jimmbob]

LOL. As if people with OCD haven't got enough to do already!

[importaku]

"Around the world we use a lot of humour and euphemism to describe what is a basic human function.

"We say 'I'm going to the bathroom' or 'I'm going to powder my nose' because there is a taboo surrounding using the toilet."

pfft, around the world maybe but where i work i just tell the truth.

Them: Where you been you've been gone ages
Me: Just been for a massive ****
Them: God, do you mind that's disgusting "fake outrage at my crudeness"
Me: "goes in for grand finale" yeah it was so big it was like launching the titanic, kate winslet was on standby to perch on the edge as it went down

I find it mightily amusing that people get all embarassed about bodily functions, umm everyones human & everyone does it.

[importaku]

If I can somehow incorporate this into my OCD I'm in!

O - Obsessive
C - Crapping
D - Disorder

There we go

[VR46]

Teh Chav flat-screen TV (view pic 1 first)

[MattyD]

It's a very simple idea - rather than throwing away your old jeans, just
donate them so they may be used to help someone.... the way they helped
this little girl...

JAILBAIT!

[MattyD]

HERE

Anyone suffer from this?

It's the Fight Club thing, you know, "don't watch me, I can't go if you watch me" I can relate to some of it though, I was always one of the last to 'provide my sample' during compulsory drugs testing when I was 'in'.

[Emir]

I can't take a wizz in a urinal. Secret listeners you see...

[VR46]

Had a mailshot this morning from Norwich Union, pay as you go car insurance has arrived. They give you a GPS system, which tracks when you drive, how far, was it in rush hour ? blah blah blah.

https://www.payasyoudriveinsurance.co.uk

[Alastair]

What a poncey site. Just did the Is it right for you bit.

I don't like the sound of the GPS logging thing either. How do they get the data from the box in your car to their 'super computers' anyway? Is it a transmitter as well that sends out all the time? The actual tech they are using is obviously left a little vague on the site!

[Ish]

I was interviewed for a job as a development team leader for some of the software on that project I tihnk (another company was actually doing the work for them and thats who interviewed me). I turned it down - the people in charge were assholes.

[VR46]

can't believe this for a minute

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, Lord grant me one wish."

Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The man said, "Please Lord build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honour and glorify me."

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my woman, the love of my life. I want to know how she feels inside, what she is thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why occasionally she cries, what she desires, what she means when she says 'nothing', and how I can make her truly and wholly happy."

And The Lord said,

"You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge mate?"