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Q: Why are computers like air conditioners?
A: Cause they work fine until u start opening windows
Q: How many Microsoft support staff does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to ask "What is the registration number of the light bulb?," one to ask "Have you tried rebooting it?," another to ask "Have you tried reinstalling it?" and the last one to say "It must be your hardware because the light bulb in our office works fine..."Comment
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make sure you scroll down and read Q & A's
This text reads same forwards and backwards
Go hang a salami im a lasagna hogLast edited by VR46; 16-05-2006, 08:47.Comment
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Behold the power of MC Dicko
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm...endid=69398019
His ryhmes are not safe for work, but the man tells it like it is.
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there isn't a smiley on this site that can come close to how funny/confusing i found that ****...Originally posted by Yoraths mullet
hold up, i think this one works
[img]http://www.nugget****.com/bbs/images/smilies/god.gif[/img]
he's like a posh little 10/11 year old... roofles, and i love how his mini system sounds in the background.
made my day, keep it reel my niggas.
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Whoa! Those are true Gems!Originally posted by jimmie2kComment
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Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly
toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to
the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologise.
"Please allow me to help. I'm a physiotherapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd
allow me" she told him.
"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes" the man replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the foetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.
She administered tender and careful massage for several long moments then asked "How does that feel?".
He replied "It feels bloody great, but my thumb still hurts like hell"!Comment
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Peter the Plastering Penguin
Peter the plastering penguin walks into a bar:
"Pint of beer please."
Landlord says "F**k me!" and hands over the pint.
The penguin downs the pint and leaves.
Next day, the penguin walks back into the same bar.
"Pint of beer please!"
Landlord says "Tell you what mate, you should be in the circus"
Peter says "What the f**k would a circus need a plasterer for."Comment
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Originally posted by marcus
Err............ i dont get it
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The barman thinks he should join the circus as a talking penguin. The talking penguin doesn't understand why the circus would want a plasterer, because, funnily enough, not only is he a talking penguin, he is a plasterer by trade.Comment
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A German guy approaches a prostitute and says "I vish to buy sex vit you"
"OK" says the girl, "I'll charge 100 dollars an hour"
"Ist goot, But I must varn you, I am a little kinky"
"No problem" she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky"
So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller.
"I vant you to tie ze springs to each of your limbs."
The girl finds this very strange, but complies, fastening the springs to her hands and knees.
"Now you vill get on your hans and knees."
She duly does this, balancing on the springs.
"You vill please blow zis vistle as I make love to you."
She finds all this very odd, but figures it's harmless, and the guy is paying.
The sex is fantastic. She is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller.
The climax is the most sensational she has ever experienced, and it is several minutes before she has recovered her breath.
Finally she gasps "That was totally amazing....... what do you call that?
"Ah", says the German,
"Four-sprung duck technique"Comment
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